“Aheuy Gertjuhh!!”, was the sound what came from the hotel room TV. Samson & Gert. A children’s program with a man and a talking dog. That’s why it was so popular I thought. Belgians have a good sense of humor. And interesting art assignments. This was a very special one. There was an air of mystery surrounding this production. Many things were not clear. But eventually it became clear. Because apparently that’s how it should be. I opened the old-fashioned wood-framed windows. A warm glow of sun shone directly in and the air neutralized the musty smell. My clothes smelled of dust and sweat because of the long train travelling. I took them off, hung them over the window frame and took a long shower. I looked at myself naked in the mirror and did a “helicopter” “Nice,” I said to myself. Then I fluffed my clothes to free them from all the particles and put them back on.
I closed the door of my hotel room and stepped into Antwerp city.
An adventure in itself for a Dutchman. She had agreed to meet at the gym. A cool look for a girl. Strong muscular hands and a rough physique. Blocky yet graceful. There was something about her that really attracted me. I couldn’t place it. She asked me if I had been to Belgium before. This was about the fifth time. Because I often met the “alternatives” of this artsy club to which Helรจne belonged. She had always been a visitor to the other studios before. It was the first time we had met together. She asked me how much I weighed since the human pulleys should be able to carry me as we roll across the stage. The rehearsal went smoothly. And very “plezant” by the way. It was a fun sight to practice the performance with this art collective from Belgium.
Afterwards we had a drink and went back to our own habitat to prepare for the next art assignment the next day. This would take place in the boxing ring. A representation of a show of power that would sharpen relations within the gender spectrum. It would be shocking, especially for a conservative. But that was also the intention of the artwork we had in mind. What could be shocking for some is just a moment of a flow to others. Therefore Helรจne brought a stroboscoop as a metaphor for flashing passing by moments. I agreed with her because i think its briljant and very cool to do.
The strobe lights were already set up in the corners of the ring. We put on our boxing gloves and let loose. In the meantime, the camera that Helรจne had placed on the bench was recording. And time and time again I fell flat. She hits really hard. And that became apparent when she said: “sta op manneke!”. The combination of the funny sounding Belgian Dutch accent with choices of the words got me hooked. After the umpteenth time I was knocked to the ground, I was fed up. My turn now. I tried to read her arm movements and looked at her shoulders so I knew which arm she would use. I had apparently cracked the code because my fist knocked her down. Helene was defeated.
I ran from one corner to the other in the ring. She didn’t wake up feeling completely fit, she said as an excuse. She thought it was enough. Plenty of pictures were taken with the strobo that captured the images on the connected camera. We got to see a non-stop motion video as a result. I thought it was wonderful. Helene even more so.
“Yass!” she screamed with pleasure. She was content with the result.
She brought two cans of beer from the gym canteen refrigerator. Enough material for the Antwerp Art Gang for the time being. A combination of people with diverse projects. From painters to stage performers. With leading works of art that were exhibited to the public once a week. Sometimes in the theater, sometimes alone in the exhibition hall. An appreciation for me to be seen and noticed by sameminded folks. After that you can sell your art to artlovers and can bring a message in your own way to the world.
The beer was already a big hit because Helรจne came out of her comfort zone. She asked me if I had any problems with her gender. I told her that I am gender blind. Helene was transsexual. Two years ago she chose to continue living as a woman. She was once born as Koen.
But she always knew then that she was actually a woman. She was the only boy in the class who played with Barbie dolls and didn’t like race cars. So Koen was declared and labeled gay. But he didn’t feel gay because Koen actually felt like a woman.Koen was not busy to label or categorize “her” gender or sexuality. Koen was just being Koen.
โDo you feel more queer or without a label at all these days?โ I asked her.
“Queer would be the right box, she said.But only to please the ones who specifically wants to label me.” “In fact i think i am more gender and sexual fluid and i am okay with that”. I told Helรจne that i am also okay with that. I told her that i choose to open up about my sexuality almost a year ago. And since then i not only feel more accepted but also made somehow peace with my own mind.
Helene gave me the impression that she liked me. That would really be a revelation for me to do a trans. How should that actually be done, I thought? Where are the triggers? And how exactly do you do it? Or is it a completely different form and essence of having sex with a trans person. I became fucking curious about her body. I wanted to see what she looks like after gender reassignment surgery. Because the second round of beer was already finished, we started round three.
“Are you curious amigo?”
she kept asking me. I asked her what she looked like before. Before gender reassignment surgery. She showed some old photos on her laptop. Koen was quite a nice boy. Still androgynous. Something girly. I thought it was always in her. Helene put her hands in front of my eyes and said:
“This one is a bit shocking”
She took her hands away from my eyes and I saw a cheerful naked full frontal seductive Koen on her laptop. โGood,โ I said. The next sliding plane after the removal. And the next one with hormones for, among other things, breast development and voice. That’s right, I thought I heard somewhere that Helรจne had a deep voice. Then she stood up and begged me into the gym showers. She took off her clothes right in front of me. Helene stood stark naked in front of me and looked at me without saying anything. Was not necessary. I’ll have her right away. This was communication without words. Non-verbal communication is taking place over here..
As both receiver and messenger, we always change roles in this play of communication. Dialogues words sentences changed into animal sounds and savage moods.
Helene grabbed my cock and masturbated me. She looked straight into my eyes.Like a killer! This fucking bitch is bloody serious. Extravaganza from highest level.
I came closer and French kissed Helene. What a wonderful feeling. Helene sank down and took my throbbing rock hard penis into her mouth. She sucked my cock like a drug addict refugee. Super nasty. Hair drool turns my entire crotch into a swimming pool. She then teased my scrotum and the groove at the bottom of my penis with her tongue. I became crazy and wild.
Its getting hot in here!
She turned around and pressed her muscular butt against me and inserted my fingers into her vagina. It looks exactly the same as an ordinary woman.
Does she feel the same too?, I reasoned. Extensively, yes.
Somewhere she came hard. She asked me if I had any wishes. “Yes, I said, dominate me.โ
Helรจne thought that was a good idea. She sat on the bath chair and asked me to lie over her knees. Without resistance I bent over and felt firm slaps on my buttocks. This was fucking good.
“Amaai!
I screamed in pleasure.
Helene enjoyed it too. She felt my cock harden again and grabbed my neck. She lifted me to my feet, still holding me in a neck hold. While she was choking me she was jerking me off at the same time. This was very fun to experience. Aphrysia sex. That’s sex at its best. โI liked it,โ I said to Hรฉlรจne. She gave a mutual look of approval.
We chatted some more. The subject of conversion therapy was also discussed. Banned in Belgium. Not yet with us, I told Helene. It will happen soon, she said. Not going to work in an LGBT friendly country. There will be a situation one day where conversion therapy will only be used in ultra-homophobic countries. The law of mutual consent already applies in LGBT-friendly countries. And from the age of 18+ you are decisive and competent about your own sexuality and gender in a country that approves your sexuality. Regardless, there are parties that want to apply conversion therapy.
“So basically there is actually no point in applying conversion therapy in the Netherlands?” I asked her. “The law protects you against it,” said Helรจne.
That is why Belgium, France, Germany and more and more countries in Europe are already free of conversion therapy. Helene also wanted to come to the Netherlands someday. I told her that she must come to Scheveningen. That is the nicest place in the Netherlands according to many Belgians, she said. That’s exactly right, I told her. I told her about the beach club, the fun, the fun, real life. Even though it was only June, it seemed like I had been working there for years. That’s a sign that you like it. You do indeed feel useful after you have worked. You are not a number but real staff.
Helene interrupted me and asked me if I have ever worked in a call center since I have such good communication skills. That’s right, it’s been years. Maybe I’ll return to that area in October. But for now I’m perfect. I told her how the clients are trying to get me back into that industry by influencing staff members where I work. That’s a sign of desperation, said Helene. That thing has actually lost its grip on you and also its grip on reality. You then haphazardly make agreements here and there with everything and everyone you interact with.
It is striking that something like this does not actually enter into conversation with you, but remains invisible around you in order to supposedly exert influence. You dont even speak to each other for christ sake!
Usually that means that that is someone who actually is fucking up things…
Control only works if influence works, I said. Helรจne agreed with me about that. You decide for yourself to what extent you allow something or someone into your life. And you can be in charge of that yourself. If you don’t do that you will never be happy. Not with yourself, not with your life. Many people usually think they know better for someone else. Or wanting to think for someone else. That’s a sign of pathetic desperation. A situation is then created that is self-evident.
But as long as there is no mutual consent with the person in question, it is not valid. This means that the communicative part no longer works. Reason is lost. In other words, you know that you have won. You only live once so why hide from life like that. This conversation with Helรจne was very pleasant. I enjoyed it. So familiar and confident. “Watch out man,” she said, sometimes call center managers also enter into deals with their previous employees. I also made a deal like that, I told Helรจne.
I will make contact online soon and everything will be fine. Helene advised me not to do that. That’s too easy. You must first meet the person in person. In the real world we talk and then we see again. After all, you are out of the virtual world. That’s a very good one, I told her. Because yes, it could be anyone. It is still June. I will decide in October. But it is indeed the case if in reality there is no communication whatsoever, why do you want to talk to me then in the call center? According to Helรจne there are some particles who whistenblowed the “constructors”. And that is why i am grateful to them. I am always open for contact. But with mutual approval and mutual conduct. It is very simple the ones i am really friends with are in great advantage. True friends always will show up. Friends are those who accept you for who or what you are without any judgements.
To me that is a sign of true friendship.
After some last wishes and contact exchanges i asked Helรจne if i could follow her on Facebook. Then she laughed. We are connected on WhatsApp and from there i can see.
Seems logic to me. But then i explained i can see her house too. From Google Maps. I showed her and made her realize its visible. You can see it. As a matter of fact anyone can see your fucking house. But seeing or hearing or smelling the house still doesnt make us ……friends ๐
“Touche,” said Helรจne. She understands right away. It is like you give meaning to something what is actually to be done by anyone. Exactly i continued my argument to her. She started to follow me on Facebook. Because she wants to become friends with me. To her friendship is more important then senses. What if the senses can become a bridge for the shy ones to step into the real world? , was Helรจne’s explanation. But what if you have social media on your phone? People can trace you huh” Almost everyone on this planet has got social media on their phones. Why dont you follow not others but specifically me? And furtermore i have nothing to hide. Do you have something to hide Danny?” , she asked me.
Nope nothing at all. Good she said because that is what makes you strong. Your openess your confidence. She considered me fearless. I gave her a hug and kiss and said goodbye.
With that thought I boarded the train back to the Netherlands. The ones who are hiding are usually the ones who are scared and afraid of things. I realized i have no fear, simply because i am confident with myself and therefore i have nothing to hide.
Belgium had given me a feeling of enlightenment in just two days.
A pleasure to pursue my activities. The train came towards Tilburg and I got a connection on my phone again. One WhatsApp message notification after another came on my phone
A few extras from an earlier production asked me to be their sidekick for a recreation of a vlog. That seemed like a nice idea to me. In the meantime, I quickly submitted my schedule for the week and took into account the roles I was booked for.
A first major event would take place in Scheveningen. A true happening of the Volvo Ocean Race where the participants had Scheveningen as a pit stop. In my schedule statement I stated my availability for these days. I wanted to experience this. When the train arrived at The Hague central station, I took the tram to Scheveningen and saw the berthing of all the sailors there.
The event was already announced with huge advertising masts and flags. It’s going to be extremely busy, said one of my colleagues. Both on the beach and on the terrace and in the club.
And in addition to the regular menu, additional stands and stages were created in and around the club. A beer stall. A snack stall. A coin sales unit. It was something you definitely wanted to experience. There was even a tent set up over part of the terrace. The weather wasn’t really good yet. Every now and then it rained. But then you come and take shelter in the tent. It didn’t really matter because they enjoyed themselves anyway. It was a situation that I found myself in at one point or another. Real hobbies, real goals, real friends and that means you really live. Altough it is begin of June i made plans for myself to continue working at or around the beach harbour also during winters. I want to experience the Christmas feeling over here. With my collegues i also told about working abroad. Very recommended as there are so plenty organisations who has very lucrative proposals.
Personally i like to travel. But i also want to do the art assignments and movie roles. And actually the puzzle was then solved. Why not first doing city trips and still having the flexibility of my art assignments in combination with my job?
And still being available and hearing proposals from the backoffice partners?
I realised i was given a chance then in 2015 and after a while things opened up. In my advantage. Somehow the particles with the good intentions from the “game” give me indications and revealed which ones are truly fuckers. And then i counterparted with my own game supported by the government itself. It is all good. To the good ones i love you very much ๐. And always open for coorperation.
it is a great feeling to be able to be your own self by the way. With 3 film roles, including a major production, a number of photo shoots, a wonderful flexible job on the beach and the start of summer, June couldn’t have started better. A reservoir of possibilities while you already have the primary setting. My happiness could not contain these wonderful thoughts. I wanted to cool off at one of my favorite beach clubs and ordered an ice cream sundae with the flavors coconut, pistachio, mango, chocolate and amaretto and strawberry. Smiling, she brought the ice cream and took a seat for a moment
During my trip to Antwerp, Bella had made an appointment with Mary and was actually ready for the next step…I immediately knew what she was referring to. The words of her imagination mixed with the flavors of my ice cream…
but was Mary ready for it? Or was she in such a state of mind that that is precisely why she wanted it? A woman’s feelings are sometimes very changeable and unpredictable. it’s always a surprise. But I had every confidence and continued to listen attentively to Bella’s proposal….
The End
coming soon 26 11
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