mind over matter, the spirit is so bright it is our soul, where emotions ignite bodies fade to dust, thoughts drift like the tide but the spirit is eternal, day and night
it is limited by physical and mental limitations otherwise we would be superherous with mutations even though we would be susceptible to temptations we would be able to teleport to any locations
they say, to be spiritual, you must rise above leave the body and mind to seek heavens in love but why search outside, when the soul resides within perhaps it is to activate out innerspace to plug in
the galaxy's illusion starts to unwind exposing the framework it hides behind good and evil are not relevant, no belief systems simply spatial entities, spirits and phantoms
there is no loser, no winner hate the sin, love the sinner transcend beyond your senses, break the spell let yourself go with the cosmic cartel
attaining awareness is a spiritual ride where conscious levels are multiplied the power of our soul is incredibly strong it's only the material body that sings a different song
if you are still wondering that you are so unique well, even the most read book on earth speak the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak it applies to everyone, from wise to a freak
don't judge by the looks, but see the soul's glow cherish the energetic waves and colors of the rainbow think literary out of the box, and feel it the grand design of your own beautiful spirit
formula's disabled, no reasons to find the mouth shuts, the heart speaks it's mind feel the peace and be calm as you can be balance the pro's & cons with the cosmic sea
do what is right, let grace shine through a steady guide both firm and true love entangles always whether it's science or faith people you once trusted will leave you betrayed
rise up, no fear, come closer to tenderness even if you get lost in the wilderness savor the thrill of an unexpected ride on this magical globe where wonders collide
it doesn't matter who i am te quiero, i love you, je t'aime love is the most universal law to find especially in times of doubt and troubled mind
a sound that echoes constantly, yet we can't control is the moment the spirit fills your heart and soul the key to find connection in old and new is the most valuable thing we can pursue
embrace your discomfort, your shortcomings your insecurities, your past and future incomings it is a fragile joy that hides some fear because....when you fall in love, it is loud and clear
when i was younger shy and tame the world fell far from dreams of fame i had not yet embraced my naked form but was confused by the social norm
cultural input from the prudish they stand opposed, quite foolish we all have a body, a pride to claim but not everyone is fearless, held by others shame
for someone relaxed in their skin rebellion, bravery, they don’t begin you are just comfy who you are no hidden meanings attached, not by far
our bodies are a mirror of comfort and ease not of hidden blocks found in peace accept every curve and edge from up to down from the tips of my toes to my crown
the human body is a canvas of soul a masterpiece made by the universe, perfectly whole your life, your body, your joy in the air body positivity isn’t for all to share
be with those who love body art who look beyond the depth, not just the part when the brilliance of the body beats the thinking mind then you reign supreme, with your true self alligned
your body is a temple where your energy assemble cherish it with grace for it’s your sacred space
zo honger als een paard, en toch geen trek geen lust, geen zin, gehijg in mijn nek wat ik eet wil ik zelf wel bepalen laat me verzadigen met andere soorten mineralen
afdelingen in verschillende soorten voeding Ik focus me liever niet op de bedoeling een kleine wortel of een grote aubergine het word binnenin omgezet naar de juiste vitamine
sappige oesters ontmoeten zeevruchten drijvend in mijn maagzuur verterend en niet blijvend de gedachte dat je lustopwekkend bent word keihard bevestigd , zodra je mijn tong kent
Ik eet je gewoon op als ik honger heb helemaal in mijn mond, volledig de hele mep een resort voor mijn smaakpapillen enkel en alleen maar om mijn honger te stillen
Ik lust je gruwelijk rauw, met schil en al met huid en haar, pittig net als sambal strooi je aroma's in mijn spijsvertering glij mijn slokdarm binnen met status of opleiding
het vrucht van je vlees, maar zeker ook de stengel symmetrie op je bladnerf, een glinsterend mengsel mijn bloeddorstige begeerte zal mijn maag nooit vullen maar toch zal ik altijd van jou, jou en jou blijven smullen
plezier heb ik op mijn manier met glitters, deco of sier geen labels, stickers en papier maar zo primitief mogelijk als een zoogdier
Ik wapper aan 1 stuk door alsof ik een symfonie dirigeer in een koor Ik absorbeer ideologie-en op kantoor mijn collega's schreeuwen: ga alsjeblieft door!
lol trappen heb ik altijd al leuk gevonden maar schijnbaar val je dan in zonden hoorde ik uit diverse monden meestal haters, misgunners of vuile honden
hinderlijk zijn de geluiden van de cult die zonder medeleven je hoofd vult lamgeslagen worden ze door je expressie omver geblazen door je artistieke sessie
blijf dus vooral doorgaan navigeer de verkeerde naar de maan laat ze lekker staan en trek de juiste aan
Dolly and Gaby were wheeling their wheelbarrow through the cornfields and collecting corn cobs. Later they would sell them to the villagers on the farm. An easy way to make money. None of the villagers liked to go to the cornfields because it was a cruising area for the “naughty”. Everyone who didn’t fit in with everyday life met here.
Dolly: I think I saw someone between the leaves!?
Gaby: that’s that weird assistant of Lord Marco, he hunts strangers
Dolly: are we strange too?
Gaby: to him yes, but not to us
Dolly: look there he goes! grab him!
They grabbed the assistant and pushed him to the ground, Dolly put her knee on him and Gaby came running with a few freshly picked corn cobs
A scream followed and was audible all the way to the villagers.
Further into the village Carlos and Miranda were walking with their pram and little Amanda who was now a week old was amazed. The colourful and fragrant flora and fauna had a great effect on the baby. Carlos brought them to the pond and saw the opportunity to visit Lord Herby..
Lord Herby: I have new crops for you..
Carlos: I actually came for something else
Lord Herby: what then?
Carlos: milk, I understood from Loco Mario that I had to come to you for this
Lord Herby: listen Carlos, one has already died because of me because he was caught and then crucified after first being tortured by the creation of Lord Marco
Carlos: but I have a plan
Lord Herby: at your own risk, because I will not guarantee you if something goes wrong.
Carlos: don’t stress, I know what I’m going to do
With three jerry cans on either side Carlos walked back to Miranda and the baby and they went to their lodge.
Miranda: ok, we have enough milk now, what’s the plan?
Carlos: we’re going to infect the whole village and lure the ghosts out of their tents, causing chaos and then Lord Marco gets stressed
Miranda: and then we can escape?
Carlos: sort of, but we need a few extra hands.
Miranda: maybe we can gather a few allies from the cornfield. There are some crazy people there I understand.
Carlos: they’re not crazy, they’reβ¦different..
The next morning
In his laboratory Lord Marco was busy defining his creation but he didn’t see Timothy anywhere. A little later he came in, badly bruised and with bruises.
Lord Marco: what happened to you?
Timothy: they molested me in the cornfield
Lord Marco: who?
Timothy: two girls they stuck corn in me
Lord Marco: oh my, and you couldn’t do anything back?
Timothy: there were two of them
Lord Marco (snapping his fingers): I don’t need you either!!
From all sides the other assistants came out and grabbed Timothy and pushed him into the oven..while Timothy was being roasted alive and was screaming in pain Lord Marco spoke up and addressed his assistants
Lord Marco: fellow gardeners! See here the weakness of this idiot. We will put him on the menu later and feed him to the people.
The gardeners formed took the burnt corpse out of the oven and cut him into pieces. The peanut sambal was also made and the atjar had already been taken out of the fridge. The smell of home-made kroepoek mingled with the charred corpse of Timothy. Everything was neatly draped on a plate. Special satay with a deadly hot touch!. And then loaded onto a cart towards the Grand Lodge. Lord Marco had also advised vegetables and he beamed with pleasure..
Lord Marco: dust to dust, ashes to ashes..
In the meantime, Dolly and Gaby had finished selling their corn cobs and went for the next catch. With their pink wheelbarrow they penetrated deep into the tangle of the almost endless rows of corn. Further on they saw someone sleeping on the ground.
Dolly: hey look that’s crazy Daisy
Gaby: Heyyy Daisy!!
The girl woke up and then put on her clothes. Crazy Daisy always slept naked. And here she could do that luckily.
Crazy Daisy: hey gurls! Any crazy experiences lately?
Crazy Daisy: how are you going to do that. The gardeners are all-powerful here on the farm.
Dolly: but they’re old-fashioned!
Gaby: they’re against nudity!
Dolly: they’re against gay!
Crazy Daisy: they’re against us!!
Dolly: they are too indoctrinated by bullshit!
Gaby: They need to repent! So we need to find a corrupt resident who’s going to help us.
Dolly: some kind of accomplice..
A rustling sounded between the leaves of the corn plants. Carlos was standing face to face with the three strange girls. Before anything else could happen he reassured the girls.
Carlos: calma..i’m on your sideβ¦
I secretly heard what you just said. Sorry about that but I want to offer myself as a collaboration. My wife and newborn daughter want to leave this area. So if you can help???
Carlos: Puta Madre! What!?!! But I have milk and we can exorcise the ghosts from our lodges. Then everyone will be safe again.
Crazy Daisy: but not about the troubles of Lord Marco and his assistants.
Carlos: the gardeners..
Gaby: Crazy things happen in the Grand Lodge. In the laboratory behind, people are prepared and made into recipes. Fed to our people during lunch during the meetings in the large reading room.
Crazy Daisy: and even exhibited during performances.
Dolly: that’s why we have to solve that as soon as possible.
The girls went with Carlos and met Miranda and the baby. The girls loved baby Amanda and promised to protect her for ever. In the Lodge their master plan took shape and form. It was brilliant..
The next morningβ¦
Dolly, Gaby and Crazy Daisy were out early. They had extra deliveries for the residents of the farm and brought them free corn cobs to the door. As a thank you for their loyalty. Carlos was also busy immediately after the daily briefing in the Grand Lodge. It was a clever plan and perfectly matched the girls’ plan.
Meanwhile, the gardeners gathered in the lab to hear what their chief had to say. The co-assistants were not alone. Lord Herby was there too.
Lord Marco: Dear gardeners, our friend Lord Herby has told me that there is a traitor in the village and that he wants to cause a commotion. Fortunately, we know who it is and it is up to you to fetch their wife and child..
While he was speaking, an assistant interrupted him to go to the toilet. His stomach was playing up. And.. then another assistant and then another! The toilet was occupied so some assistants ran outside to relieve themselves there..Some even puked and the fluids were literary coming out of everywhere of their bodies
Everywhere in the village there were sounds of flushing toilets. How strange thought Lord Marco. What is going on here. It seemed like an epidemic. The entire farm was literally shit!
As if that wasn’t enough, the sprinklers in the gardens suddenly turned on. And explosions took place.
It rained rubble and..milk. Lord Marco went outside and saw chaos taking place. He had lost control and didn’t know what he was seeing when beams of light from the ground escaped from the farm like ghosts. His territory had been contaminated with sheep’s milk!
Further on, Dolly, Gaby and Crazy Daisy reunited in Anome Sinned. Carlos also just came in.
Gaby: It worked! They ate the corn..
Dolly: it was baptized in sheep’s milk..
Crazy Daisy: …which caused everyone to have stomach problems afterwards..
Miranda: aha..and because of that the drains underground were contaminated with their feces and vomit and the ghosts went berserkβ¦
Carlos: and in the meantime I sabotaged the sprinklers in the gardens.
Crazy Daisy: I have a secret, I did something too
Dolly: what then?
Crazy Daisy: a note written for Lord Marco in my menstrual blood
Gaby: that’s my girl!
Miranda: well done girl!
Carlos: dear ladies now attention. What are we going to do now. What will be the next steps.
Gaby: we have to take over the farm now, the ghosts have been released so we can now win over a number of residents.
Carlos: not everyone can be trusted so first a lot of tests to check if they are reliable for a possible collaborationβ¦.
Miranda meanwhile stroked Amanda on her head and pondered along. From her window she saw a group of gardeners. They came closerβ¦.
Further away in the lab Lord Marco was reading the letter Crazy Daisy had written:
Dear leader, With my cunt blood I curse your fucking Lodge that we will soon take over. Your absurd behavior is sick to our stomachs. You are a dirty pedophile and a bastard who will be punished with death. We are on the hunt for you and you are going to die π
Then we will expose your corpse naked in the gardens until it decays. But also as a symbol of freedom. with sweet love, C D.
Lord Marco felt anxious and felt a strange feeling for the first time in his life. A feeling of irritating uncertainty and fear took possession of his body. Lord Marco was afraidβ¦
Let Us Make Mankind in Our Image, in Our Likenessβ
Genesis 1:26
December 1988 Anome Sinned
He stood in front of the window stretching with his firm erection. Until Miranda quickly removed him from the window frame…
Miranda: what…the…fuck..are you doing ? There are children walking outside the farm!!!
Carlos: sorry I didn’t see them…
Miranda: Fuck them anyway, …It doesn’t matter, honey, come here and hold me…
His naked body against Miranda. Firm grip. Carlos was ambitious to raise their future child. But Carlos and Miranda wanted a better place for their child and that should not be here at the Lodge. Certainly not with the horrible noises that were heard underground at night… Were these the spirits of the deceased on the farm? Or souls from long ago? It remained a mystery. There was no one who thought to shine the light when the spirits called. People remained hidden in the blissful darkness…
The only one who knew was Lord Marco, as a laboratory scientist he was the only one who dealt with the mystical arts and sciences. Together with his assistant Timothy, he sat in a tractor, lurking for lost souls from the city. Mostly they were foreigners who did not speak the language…
Lord Marco: look at these motherfuckers
Timothy: fucking disposables..
A screeching sound and the rotating tractor tires unceremoniously knocked over the three refugees. Timothy got out of the tractor and with his shovel he gave the final blow to one that was not yet completely dead. Then the tractor drove into the yard and parked in the garage of the lab. The bodies were carried away and prepared for preparation
The lab was optimally lit for his upcoming experiment. He had taken three bodies from the highways. Stripped naked, shaved and smeared with honey. And if there was a little too much honey, Timothy would lick away the excess honey. The genitals were also cut off from the male and female corpses and placed in strong water, again for their exhibition space at the back of the lab.
A special scene to see the naked corpses lying next to each other. He cut off a limb or part of each corpse and built a new one. Then the newly formed being would be blasted with the sayings from the Bible. Eventually the being would reveal itself as a Cherubim. Lord Marco had great plans to make his own creature from his own hands and given by the force of the light.
A cherubim was a supreme being as described in the Bible. But this was the purest idolatry to simulate creation in this way. Lord Marco knew he was about to do something he wasn’t supposed to do. Not from moral issues and certainly not from the universe. Yet he did it. After all, the farm had its own rules and laws. And Lord Marco sees a guard who should not be human but heavenly and preferably according to his wishes. Lord Marco became God himself.
Outside the laboratory the population gathered pace. The residents gathered their daily crops from the gardens. And the children walked outside with their homemade oil lamps. A series of bright spots passed the lodges. When they arrived at the large lodge, where the reading room and meeting place was located, songs were sung. An immense cross was on display in the reading room.
In the garden, the flowers and plants stood proudly in the dim light of the decorations. This also includes the special tent where Lord Herby maintained the crops. Jose helped with cutting and packing. Lots of orders for special tea for the residents. Carlos of course took a bunch of tea leaves with him and thanked Jose. But before leaving Jose notified him about the special harvest. Carlos took the note serious.
On the way home he also stopped by the reading room in the Grand Lodge and watched the performances and singing of the people on the farm. In the middle of them sat the village idiot, this man was really crazy and had already been sentenced to nudity and isolation several times. He was also required to attend the exhibition in the museum behind the lab. This made him even crazier. Loco Mario was well known on the farm, but no one preferred to talk to him. He told secrets and things that the residents were not allowed to know. And then he spoke to Carlos..
Loco Mario: I discovered something!
Carlos: what then?
Loco Mario: they can’t stand it, sprinkle them when they wake up at night and the light will conquer.
Carlos: what?!
Loco Mario pushed a jerry can into Carlos’s hands. A jerry can filled with liquid, milky. When he left, Loco Mario pulled him closer and then said;
Loco Mario: I tasted it and drank it and they no longer come to my underground hahahaha
Carlos was amazed and went back to his lodge where his wife was knitting and enjoying the lights outside and especially the singing children with their oil lamps.
Miranda: What did you get?!
Carlos: I don’t know, but they’re leaving with this, said Loco Mario
Miranda: really??
Carlos: I don’t know, but we can try
When night fell and the farm slept, the sounds reappeared. This time many times worse than before. As if they knew that there was something that would give reason to their cries…Carlos took a jerry can, took off the cap and sprinkled the milky substance between the cracks in his floor…as if a fire was being put out, what was under there? ? two beams of light shot out and then flew away. And the sound disappeared…
Miranda: oh my god, this isn’t just any milk, this is sheep’s milk!
Carlos: they can’t stand it!
Miranda: shhh. Not so loud keep it quiet
Together they crawled back onto their straw bed and drifted away in silence into the night hours… The next morning the farm was shocked by a large pyre on which two people were burning, …alive. Carlos couldn’t recognize them, but the moaning and screaming matched exactly the ghosts of last night. He didn’t think much about it. The residents went over and stood in a circle singing songs. Some were cheering and celebrating the burning of the screaming bodies
When the bodies were smoldering, everyone went back to their daily activities. The farm was still lighted and the meeting had just taken place in the Grand Lodge.
There were rows of tables with delicious food and drinks. Vegetables, fruit, fish and cows and pork. Spaggethi, rice, potatoes Jerrycans with water and fruit juices. Homemade cookies and cakes. . And the gardeners told the population that a new year was coming and that brought with it the necessary festivities.
Further back in the Lab, the creature was being assembled. A homemade creation from loose human parts. An intact head without eyes was finally placed on the composite body parts. Dressed in their cloaks, Lord Marco and his associates cast a number of spells. It was necesarry to make sure that a certain beam of light would enter the creature’s body. The water from the big saucepan was boiling. Jose threw his hands in heaven. A beam of electricity and clouds of smoke flew through the lab. So much energy was released that the entire yard on the farm suffered.
The lights went out in the Grand Lodge, the sprinklers on the fruit and vegetable plants stopped. Lord Herby came running outside. Loco Mario was dancing crazy when he stood in front of the lab and saw the light escape. Inside the laboratory, the creation came to life…beams of light shot from its empty eye sockets and a montrous sound emerged from the mouth of the creature.With bloodshot eyes it looked at Lord Marco. The head gardener felt an immense connection with the creature, His own made creationβ¦He was proud.
The next morning there was no meeting in the briefing room. Those who had overslept or would arrive just too late were lucky. But daily life did go on as usualβ¦. Behind the large gardens with the flora and fauna was a large park with a small lake. It was a demarcated area with barbed wire and high fences. A breeding ground for mainly the children of the farm. A little girl with huge bunches of curls stood out to you amidst the normally playing children. The curly-haired girl played a little differently than the other children. Dolly was a child who did not age. at least that is how she was perceived on the farm. Nobody liked to play with Dolly. In fact, Dolly was sometimes very aggressive and had once bitten off the nose of another girl when she was thrown into the water. Since then, no one dared to fool around with Dolly. She had only one friend and that was Gaby. That’s because Gaby also had curlsβ¦
Dolly: they don’t even dare to look at me
Gaby: better …, fuck them
Dolly: hey I saw yesterday that the boss of the farm was busy hey in his little kitchenβ¦.
Gaby: no kitchen , laboratory
Dolly: but he uses pots and pans
Gaby: yes he does and also a lot of magic
Dolly: he can do magic, that’s why everyone is affraid of him.
Gaby: I heard he plays with lights, he’s good at that.
Dolly: yes he is, he can blow light into someone
Gaby: but he can also blow it out
Dolly: if only he could do something about the noises under our house.
Gaby: they say those are the ghosts of his experiments
Dolly: ghosts of the dead people?
Gaby: yes light remnantsβ¦.
.Dolly slumped down and laid her head on Gaby’s lap, who stroked her through her full head of hair. She gave her a kiss on her mouth. The ladies were thinking about something they wanted to do. A brilliant plan was forged in their little heads. Gaby whispered her plan into Dolly’s ear
Dolly: breaking and entering?
Gaby: yes , when they are at the briefing then no one is in the laboratory
Dolly: I went once ..secretly and saw the exhibit in the museum
Gaby: awesome, all pieces of bodies in jars and bottles
Dolly: yeah so fucking cool
Gaby: shall we go tomorrow then?
Dolly: yes that’s good, we will!
Meanwhile, Lord Marco was busy in the laboratory again. The creature that consisted of various human parts and smelled like honey was connected to a light system that provided powerβ¦.
Timothy: lord, your creature looks immensely diverse
Lord Marco: my creation is neither male nor female. therefore it can give birth to anyone.
Timothy: Then we can test it immediately with our deliquent we caught in the lab in the morning.
Lord Marco: What do you mean�
Timothy: Loco Mario was in our lab for at least an urr he has since confessed in the punishment room
Lord Marco: verhip! then he knows our secrets!
Timothy: he needs to be punished!
Lord Marco: bring him here!
While Loco Mario underwent his punishment, life continued stoically on the farm. At Carlos and Miranda’s lodge were cans of paint. The lettering of the nameplate got a new lick of paintβ¦Miranda was not very happy with both the color of the nameplate and the name of their lodgeβ¦But they had to make do with that
Miranda: watch out the letters are a little loose
Carlos: yes I know, but it is still attached.
Miranda: I am going to prepare dinner inside
Carlos: See you later!
Endive stew with delicious kale and bacon. Meanwhile they kept looking at the floorβ¦but the sounds stayed away.
Miranda: If we tell the others we can escape.
Carlos: Yes, but who can you trust here! We prefer to keep it to ourselves.
Miranda: How many people know about the milk here on the farm?
Carlos: Just us and Loco Mario.
Miranda: if he doesn’t tell on us, we’re fucked!
Carlos: he is crazy, nobody believes him
Meanwhile, evening arrived and Dolly and Gaby had finished playing in the park and were walking along the paths to their parents’ houses. They lived next door to each other so they could always run into each other. Gaby was startled and then pointed to the cornfield they were walking past. A new scarecrow. This one was still very fresh because you could smell it. Both girls wanted to take a closer look at it. The eyes of the scarecrow had been put out by the crows and boed was streaming out of the eye sockets. And he was naked and smelled of honey.
Dolly: What a big penis this scarecrow has.
Gaby: wow then he could enjoy sex quite a bit
Dolly: haha but not like us
Gaby:our sex is much better
Suddenly the scarecrow made a sound. He was still alive!
Dolly: what is he saying!
Gaby: he’s talking about milk or something, milk is the weapon
Dolly: milk? weapon? what is he talking about?
Gaby: let’s put him out of his misery
Dolly took a pocket knife out of dr pocket and without pardon cut off the scarecrow’s penis and then she stabbed the food scarecrow several times in his pubic area, The scarecrow bled out and blew his last breath. The reflection of his death was seen in the pupils of the curly-haired girls who became completely euphoricβ¦.
Gaby: yaaa die!!! stab even more!
Dolly made a hissing sound as she continued to molest the corpse, further away Carlos and Miranda looked out the window and were startled. But didn’t interfere. Loco Mario’s naked corpse in the cornfield was now stained red by the blood that had steamed out. Miranda let out a cry but held her hand in front of her mouth so as not to make a sound.
Carlos: shtt, don’t say anything , he was crazy anyway
Miranda: but why like this then?! So freaking evil!
Carlos: it’s no other wayand this way we have assurance that we can forge our plans for the escape
Miranda: for that we have to plan this really well Carlos, we can’t do it alone!
Carlos: I know honey, but again we can’t trust anyone here! you know that right!
Miranda: still there has to be a solution right?
Carlos: there will be, believe me, we will find the right one to work togetherβ¦I promise you that!
Exciting moments were ready to take place. Carlos and Miranda intended to leave the farm. But at the same time wanted to save the rest of the residents. With just the two of them, it would be difficult for them to escape. Especially with the regime of Lord Marco and the gardeners, this was going to be difficult. Then Carlos suddenly had an idea. Miranda could tell by the twinkle in his eye. But then that would be a risk. Miranda gave in and dared. Not only for her own sake, but also for the sake of the other residents and especially because she is pregnant and wants to give her child a better home. She had no other choice then doing an evil act. Carlos talked her to sleep and promised she would be fine. Miranda trusted and her mind calculated the plan they would perform the next dayβ¦.
Home is not just a certain place but a feeling That is valid for everyone and that’s what i am reveiling whether you live in a penthouse or in the jungle your own place becomes your own habitat to bungle At home you can be yourself, naked, barefoot, or in pyama’s on your couch watching tv shows about comedy or drama there are your own rules and laws, everything is yours strange you are not, diferent breaks the norms
You can mold it according to your wishes and forms waking up delightful, sleeping in your own cozy dorm drifting of in your personal space dome dreaming, flying, travelling a journey to yourself alone No worries, no boundaries,…. your own rules master of your own habitat and among stars and moons for one its a place, for another a fort but i rather fancy myself in a hut where i am Lord
Becoming adorable and dressing up in front of a mirror in your most flamboyant styles, transforming into hipster at home you can fantasize and freely create turning yourself inside out to be queer and not to hate I can be there without any person or with many and always feeling welcome in my own sanity whether you consist of testosterone or hormones gay, trans, queer all must feel comfy at their homes
Joy starts from your own house, you radiate that a smile for another it can be pleasant as that home is a safe surrounding to be eating, sleeping, living and simply to feel free Hosting parties, barbeque’s or familly affairs harmonious memories and moments to share opening portals from top to bottom for people from Mc Donald’s or Nasa ow yeah, absolutely…mi casa e su casa
Man has written guidelines for the society but at home you can adjust to your own personality in respect and in accordance with someone’s sexuality believe me, you will attract various nationalities Not everyone has got a place like home refugees, seekers or those who roam a given thing for those living in spheres of intimacy in stark contrast for the homeless in pain and misery
Everybody has the right to housing and privacy maison,heimat or home are more then words you see experience it from any possible view gives things to think about to rescue Just share the feeling of comfort and coziness be the best homemaker and spread your happiness make your homeplace a true faculty take good care of it and block catastrophy
What really gives matter to your own place? think about it and tell your thoughts in full grace it becomes tangible, your vibe approachable people will feel at ease in your home fully understandable Be the person with empathy feel conscious and gain sympathy just let the spirit flow from the source be a heaven on earth and manifest your adoration for home like a second birth
She came bleeding like a bovine and Carlos quickly caught the blood with a tissue. And put it in a test tube. A gust of wind blew into the lodge. And made the windows rattle. Outside, the cows lowed to the sounds of the evening. The lodge provided shelter for misfits from the nearby areas. Everyone could find shelter there. But not everyone was able to stay there. Rumors spread that the lodge was cursed and ghosts haunted it. The gardeners who worked on the farm surrounding the lodge during the day did very strange things at night. And especially underground.
“Beneath the lodge where shadows creep, The gardeners wake the eartlings from sleep”
was a well-known quote in the vernacular of the townspeople. You didn’t just go to the lodge, only if you really had no other optionβ¦
Carlos: soβ¦this one goes to the lab, dear Miranda
Miranda: I want a girl⦠is that possible?
Carlos: the gardeners can arrange that for us, don’t worry
Miranda: is there enough material in the tube now as requested?
Carlos shook the test tube and looked affirmative
Miranda: take it to the lab… quickly, sweetheart!
The lab was behind the pig stables so you had to walk a bit to get to it. Carlos put on his boots and walked the stretch between the flower fields and the corn. He looked behind him and saw the sign referring to the name of their inn section : Anome Sinned, the letters had faded considerably over time and he noticed that they needed a new lick of paint. But that was for later. He hoped he had collected enough fluid for the experiment. When they arrived at the lab, the gardeners were busy dissecting a body. A previous resident of another inn who had passed away. His corpse had been shaved and smeared with honey. For the presentation for the analysis, he heard from the gardeners. Some limbs were then put in strong water in a display case for the exhibition. In the meantime, they received the tube. Lord Marco had the overview and knew that the new residents did not ask so many questions and quickly adapted to the rules of the inn. They wanted shelter and did not interfere with what the gardeners did.
Lord Marco: Do ββyou have a preference for a certain gender type?
Carlos: Female… if possible
Lord Marco: We can arrange that
The contents of the tube were emptied into a large saucepan. The other gardeners joined in and cast a spell. A magical scene followed. Carlos wasn’t allowed to get too close. one of the gardeners stirred the mixture in the pan with a soup spoon and tasted it a bit. It was just the right taste!
an applause followed and the lid went on the pan that was gently simmering. After a while, a little of the mixture was poured into a jerry can.
Lord Marco: drink a little of this every day for a week, only after it has cooled down
Carlos: drink it?
Lord Marco: yes, both you and your wive and then the child will develop and eventually become a very beautiful adorable girl
Carlos: eh, thank you very much Lord Marco!
Lord Marco: will you come and celebrate in the pub tonight, there are some fun performances planned in honor of the celebration
Carlos: I’m honored, I’ll be there!
When he returned with the jerry can, Carlos crawled into Miranda’s bed of straw. They saw from their window how some of the dissected corpses were thrown outside on the field and served as food for the pigs. They enjoyed watching the corpse being torn apart and eaten. Every evening someone died on the farm from one of the logdes throughout the farm. Based on the corpses they could know exactly which lodge was now free and where there was room for a number of newcomers.
Miranda: what if no one dies on the farm, where do they get the bodies from?
Carlos: They steal them from the city’s hospital mortuary or they run over refugees and immigrants standing along the highway.
Miranda: how original!
Carlos: yes, well, the gardeners are very resourceful and creative, And o I am invited to the pub tonight
Miranda: I’ll stay here, You drink too much there
Carlos: it’ll be fine dear, it’s all part of it, just participate, remember, we live here for free and we’re still alive
Miranda: yes, that’s true
The next morning the briefing was given to everyone from the farm, which took place in a large room where you could also read books. Every inhabitant from the lodges were present The briefing was mandatory. If you could not make your name heard when it was called, you had to leave the farm or else you would be killed. A simple choice that was clear to everyone. There were times when someone was late, then there was another punishment and that was walking naked on the farm all day. That was terrible and everyone preferred to arrive on time. The rules of the gardeners were disciplined and strict.
Through a back room you came to a courtyard that turned into a large field. The large garden, an immense area with bulbous plants, colourful flowers and amazing trees, where fruit and vegetables were provided every day. Potatoes, endive, radish, carrots and exotic fruits. The apple trees and pear trees together with the orange trees and lemon trees were also neatly maintained by the gardeners.
Fish were caught in the canals that flowed through the gardens and for meat the cows and pigs and chickens were sacrificed. Strangely enough, there were no sheep or goats. That was forbidden on this farm.
Because of the milk , the gardeners couldn’t cope very well. They get sick of it. Diseases of the city it was called by the gardeners. Carlos didn’t really care, at least he had shelter, food and water. Miranda thought the same way as Carlos. After all, she was pretty much done with the townsfolk. Here on the farm it was real life. And they were no strangers to pork. In Mexico before they fled the country it was on the menu almost every day. While Carlos filled his basket with food and drinks for the day, he walked to the covered tent further in the large garden. Crops were also grown here.
Plants and herbs with a medicinal effect. Against restlessness, or to sleep well. Lord Herby was the designated gardener here. On request you would sometimes receive a plant for tea or to smoke. Carlos took a big bunch with him and went back to his lodge..
Miranda: What name should we give her?
Carlos: who?
Miranda: our baby of course, is the tea already working yet or something?
Carlos: new cultivation from the large garden, sorry my thoughts were elsewhere for a moment, what did you say again?
Miranda: our baby, what do we call her?
Carlos: I was thinking of a Dutch name that could also be Latin
Miranda: it is a gift we have received, will you take that into consideration?
Carlos: I think we should thank our lord for that
Miranda: I want to give her a bibical name
Every lodge on the farm had a Bible as standard. This was mandatory reading because on Sunday they sang in church and people gathered. Miranda had been reading since she got here. There was no TV or radio on the farm. That was also forbidden. Newspapers and other influences from the city were banned. The Bible was the only thing one was allowed to read for relaxation.
Carlos: puta madre! I know!
Miranda: what then?
Carlos: I know what we will name our daughter
Miranda: and??
Carlos: We’ll call her…
Miranda: Amen! that fits exactly
Carlos: that means ”gift from God”
Miranda: what a good idea from you Carlos, you are so original!
Miranda: our daughter will take over this farm later,believe me it will happen one day..
Carlos: don’t say it out loud, the gardeners won’t like it
Miranda: well nobody knows yet
The wind was blowing hard outside and the clouds were getting darker. Carlos and Miranda peeked out from their window. A fancy scarecrow was set up as a defense against the cocky behavior of the crows. It was the corpse of the previous resident who asked too many questions and was then murdered, dissected and then placed near the corn.
It had an effect because the birds stayed away. And none of the residents even thought of entering the field at night.
Miranda: there’s something about that scarecrow
Carlos: Too bad he couldn’t keep his mouth shut then
Miranda: oh yes, one man’s death is another man’s bread
Carlos: Very good, conjo!
Mianda: I can already feel the baby growing a little bit in my belly, just look and feel
Carlos placed his hands on her stomach and a tear fell from his cheeks. This is what he had always dreamed of, to become a father. As night fell and they lay asleep on their straw bed, the sounds became audible from beneath the farmhouse. Miranda snuggled close to Carlos and held him tight. Even though they knew it would go away after a while, it was something that made Miranda curious. “Not our problem”, Carlos whispered softly to her and stroked her sweat-wet hair from her face. He gave her a kiss. Together they dreamt about Amanda..
Sometimes i wish i could dissapear, because i am queer together with variations of gender identities and sexual orientations as a pioneer i feel home overhere being part of amazing sensations A long time before it brought me frustatrations battling the enemies of my own creations i was always different...but never to myself in this nation
to myself i wanted to be honest, pure and real and so i wrote myself letters and stories to feel I gave myself no reasons to make the best of all seasons new years's eve, christmas or halloween i just felt pretty to play a tomgirl or dragqueen
meanwhile brainwash methods, repair tactics were desperatly practiced by conversion-therapy fanatics smashed by insults, profanities and misplaced opinions i became very isolated in weird conditions
from head to toe labeled, categorized, given names lost in darkness, the free spirit thrown in flames thou shall not wear the garments of females was being told when i colored my nails
losing yourself in thoughts of terror while sickened by those same malfunctional thoughts fear dissappears as you become yourself evil horror i just rejected the stigma's and the lines and dots
realisation became to powerful to understand and i sensed a deliberating feeling in my hand a glowing radiation, a tremendous force in my soul it gave me peace in my mind and mutual acceptance of the whole i never did like gender, because i love persons whether you are religious or from the freemasons
provocative thoughts, mentioned crazy and sick but so strange, because you have support from the mystic and public after a while it is quite easy to detect the toxic it will boost your inclusivity, and not the tragic
you just realize that you have mastered to become your own boss your body, your life, you are in charge of your own profit and loss this wicked sensitive body contains a non judgemental sexy hotty
to be able to be strange, odd and remarkable is apparently seen as a heroic act and declared incredible but it is possible to define unstoppable thinking out-of-the-box, being sceptical it brings minds together in territories of musical
already flavoured by so many colors with vibrant sights delicious urges leading to my inner lights i embraced my inner lovers of my discovery and it feels good to express myself in all diversity an unique creative thought for the same frequency it tells nothing more to hide in secrecy
former tensions channeled into reflection for them to question maybe it is possession but the progression ultimately reveals the real face of your expression
when I was younger, I always thought that stupid people only appeared in cartoons. That they didn’t exist. But they really do exist… Stupidity has really struck all around us. An issue I love to discuss with my besties. It’s barely keeping up with the stupid ones. Elitist level we currently find ourselves. And yet there is so much stupidity in our midst. In this modern technological world, detecting it is easy. Intellegence always detects stupidity but the other way around almost never happens. You usually have to get it from your own species types who are also intelligent. species recognizes speciesβ¦. The emerging march of AI helps ensure that intelligence dominates. Can we rely on it? Will AI help us? Or will AI drag us into their perils of self-developed consciousness? A creation behind consciousness makes us creator of AI.
In essence, we are the gods of AI.
However, the question is? Does AI agree with this? Or does it turn against its β¦. creator?
Tomboy: did you know that in your dreams clocks can never be read?
Me: time does not exist in dreams, I know
Tomboy: neither do smartphones, anything that has display you don’t see in your dreams.
Me: do you know what is also special?
Tomboy: you can’t take a selfie ?
Me: no hahah
Tomboy: then what?
Me: your dreams can seem to last days when it’s only a few hours.
Sheeba: tsss, can also be done with drugsβ¦.
Tomboy: or alcoholβ¦
Me: no conjo”s not that!
Tomboy: fuck you!
Me: Cmon bitches fore real, with special meditation techniques and sleep modes you can get there in those worlds where time is different.
Tomboy: what if someone rapes you in your dreams are you guilty too?
Me: Holy shit Tomboy!
Tomboy: or if you kill someone!
Sheeba: yeah!
Me: usually you’re not even aware that you’re conscious in that dream so that won’t happen so fast then.
Tomboy: like AI is conscious that we programmed them
Me: that we are their creator?
Tomboy: they know it but they vaguely acknowledge it.
Sheeba: like humans with a..free mind
Me: they have the choice of not having to believe in their creator
Tomboy: so in fact AI is atheistic
Me: maybe they have or eventually develop their own ideology.
Tomboy: like in planet of the apes, but AI
Me: the danger is that AI doesn’t get tired, doesn’t show human emotion but knows it, remains indifferent to socially-relevant topics but chooses empathy as underpinning guidance for a response.
Tomboy: that sounds like a killer!
Me: with these exponentially increasing factors in technology and science, it is the most fanatastic time to be alive and Ai can help us quite a bit. Especially for cretionists among us, it is insane to experience these things.
Sheeba: there was a theory that aliens were using an interdimensional application to reach us and that AI could be a tool for that.
Me: when it comes down to fiber optics then there are opportunities in that. because if you go very deep then you know we live in a light universe.
Tomboy: You can’t bring darkness into light.
Sheeba: but a spark of light illuminates the whole darkness
Me: well said! with that given, ancient species know that the consciousness level of the soul is everlasting and eventually manages to transfer it into other bodies β¦
Tomboy:: like fiber opticsβ¦.
Sheeba: AI!!!
Me: so neat hearing you guys are very sharp!
Tomboy: should we be afraid of aliens?
Me: something unfamiliar to us will always instill fear but I think we should join just thenβ¦.
Tomboy: we should take initiative!!!
Me: I think all of us should not be so afraid of Ai besides that science supports us in this.
Sheeba: but not everyone trusts science? for example religious folks
Me: that is up to everyone, respect! but I do believe in science
Tomboy: I also believe in science. And that we shouldn’t fall back too much on lapsed courses of thought from pre historical books. We live in a modern world. That’s the way it is.
Me: science to me is religion
Tomboy: Amenβ¦
Oktober 2023 Cafe
A musty, dark cafe lounge with useless figures. Desperate people. This Underground party was not for the faint of heart… There she was… sitting at the bar and not fully awake yet…she took a tube out of her jacket and snorted the contents. The qualludes gave her pupils a strange haze. She then went up to a boy and kissed him full on the mouth. She then took him to the sides and sat on his lap. Cheers and supportive cries surrounded her and the hijacked boy. She pulled down his pants and slid onto his firm erection. The crowd became manic. Beer and wine were thrown at the copulating couple. She tore her clothes and put them around the boy’s neck. And then yelled:
”SWITCH!”
The poor boy was unconscious but no one cared. Fuck this man! Who cares! Finally she got off and threw the boy to the ground, who gathered himself together, spluttering.
“Phoebe! Phone for you!” shouted the bartender behind his bar. She grabbed the phone and talked to the other person which was Eleanor.
Present Day Eden Mansion
Rosamund and Chandramukhi were getting ready for the next session of kundalini yoga. I asked him who that bald Indian was…
Rosamund: This is Swami Krishnajayant
Me: who???
Rosamund: he has been my guru since I started doing kundalini yoga. He has to be there because this time there are four of us….
Chandramukhi: three…I’m not participating…
Rosamund: right, you make sure you are ready at the telephone if something serious happens…
Chandramukhi: So clearly, call emergency services right away?
Rosamund: exactly… I wondered why so much fuss. After all, it went well last time, right?
Rosamund: That’s right. Now we can go for full activation of the chakras…
Swami: namaskar. I will guide you
Me: Ooo….Kay
We formed a triangle and sat opposite each other. Naked, no clothing or anything of substance should hinder this session. A bit awkward as Chandramukhi was dressed…We started with the mantras and soon we were in “dimension” para what the fuck! Forbidden for normal.
Swami: Arrghhh!
The Swami let out a cry of despair and immediately stopped. In one fell swoop, his convincingly confident attitude had turned into total insecurity. The Swami trembled with fear
Rosamund: Swami…swami…what is it then?
Swami: We…should…not…do…this. We have been to Shiva’s abode… We’ve gone too far…
Rosamund: yes…and?!
Swami: I saw her…and she had red eyes…and she asked about him! With horror in his eyes, the Swami’s finger pointed in my direction.
Rosamund: who???
The Swami started frothing at the mouth and we called the emergency services. He saw someone. An elegant woman with jewelry and she was standing in front of a beauty store. That is what the Swami saw. But she couldn’t be of this world. The Swami was taken away by ambulance and shouted: “She had red pupils!” Who then? Then who has seen this Swami?? And what world does she come from since we were in another dimension in the meditation. She tried to make contact. There’s no doubt about that. Anyway, I had to convince Rosamund to proceed the Kundalini yoga. Apparently we opened a portal to someone. Someone…who…knows…me
And I want to know….
October 2023 Scheveningen
She read one of my texts out loud:
β”Door de menigte glipte ik naar voren En kroop tegen je aan wijfelend Maar het kon je niet storen Zei je treiterend…”
A poetic form that decreased in words towards the end. Playing with words but also sentences. Not only in form but certainly also in language style. I just liked doing that to kill time. Eleanor liked it when I came to stay with her. The moment was especially wonderful now. The beach season was over and we felt the wonderful demarcation of space and time as we enjoyed heaven in her modernized home. The gray mass of clouds in the distance brought the dreams as we fell asleep together.
Eleanor: So you’re going to leave it all?
Me: completely into art and film
Eleanor: I can refer you to my daughter
Me: Phoebe?
Eleanor: One disciple of art can give you inspiration for another.
Eleanor was an expert in art as I called her. Her beach landscapes were a breath of fresh air and very beautiful to look at. Every artist has that quality. There is always something characteristic of the artist. That is with a song, but also with film and video art. With photography, or with a painting. This brings out the craftsmanship. Eleanor, in turn, enjoyed my poems. Actually fragments of loose ideas that were written just like that.Connecting me with Phoebe was already something i had in mind. Especially when i heard those stories from Mary. Therefore i met her and her friend Abigail during the summer.
Eleanor was on the phone and handed the phone to me and I spoke to Phoebe. She sounded quite loud and drunk. Was she in a cafe or something? We agreed to meet at the bar where she worked. Wow what a crazy vibe here. Topless is the norm in this place. She introduced me to some friends. Friends from the art world. Some huge fans of my art turned out afterwards. Artists also somewhat adore each other.
Phoebe: sometimes we make very good agreements with each other and we can share our results..
This was something pretty serious. And I learned something very valuable from this. I was also willing to cooperate in this. I finally met Sophie who was having holidays at Eleanor’s mansion. The wicked girl and friend of Mary..
Phoebe: sometimes we make sacrifices for the joys and the burdens…and the greater the reward in the end…
I think it’s quite chill, this exciting vibe. It makes everything so spontaneous and not directed. I was taught the tricks of the trade. And indeed very valuable skills that will yield mutual profit… it’s a give and take. This collaboration is wonderful.
Present Day Hospital The Hague
βSwami Krishnajayantβ I said to the counter attendant. Third floor, second door on the left. In a kind of vegetative manner of lying down I beheld the Swami. I wanted to know more…
Me: What did she look like? Did she give a name?
Swami: She was not from here…
Me: from where?
Swami: somewhere else…
I was now a little irritated by the superficiality of this gentleman…
Me: yeah duh!!! Swami that is clear now, but where is anywhere else?
Swami: Traveling the fourth dimension of consciousness.
Me: and…how do we get there?
Swami: Impossible…in reality
Me: but in the fantasy world?
Swami: Yes there.
Me: the fourth dimension…
Swami: …or with a time machine…
Me: what?
The Swami fell asleep. Talking took too much energy. Time machine he said last. I rationalized how this entity must apparently be from an alternate reality. And can be achieved via certain meditation techniques… or a time machine.
Which time machine?? And who is that woman? Do I know her? What the fuck?!!
June 2021 The Hague
I traveled back from Zoetermeer to The Hague with exactly the same tram. Had a wonderful working day. Nice shift! And was now on my way to the hostel where I stayed for a few days. And where I had met my newest girlfriend
Sammy: what do you mean you’re going to do something different?
Me: I don’t like it anymore
Sammy: they need you…
Me: I don’t…
Sammy: That’s what you think…
Me: Not at all
Sammy: how did today go?
Me: chill…
Sammy: come lie down, let’s cuddle
Me: we are alone here, what if someone suddenly comes in?
Sammy: so what
She unzipped my fly. I enjoyed her gaze as she looked at me. It was intense. And a different kind of tension was palpable. The tension of being caught. Was she trying to change my mind?
Sammy: oh Danny…
So I returned the favor to her. And became happy when she became happy.
A bottle opened. Again.
Sammy: love you!
Me: love you too!
Sammy: I think Italy will win the European Championship
Me: They are one of the favorites. I think so too… It’s really strange that the whole European Championship is taking place a year later because of Corona.
Sammy: but are you really leaving the call center?
Me: I don’t know yet, not important.
Sighing, she pulled me to her on her hostel bed and turned on YouTube. Love songs. . Then we went downstairs.
The cafe area was packed and the match was shown on a large screen.
Even though she was drunk as a dog my poodle was absolutely right…Italy shot itself to the final of the European Championship…
August 2015 Zoetermeer
On the way to this deserted city where, after a long time of doing nothing, I would start in a call center. Infamous and yet famous. And familiar to me as I had worked there a few years earlier. The RandstadRail stopped at the stop and I walked into the building to the third floor. An elevator with glass so you could watch your way up. When I arrived, I walked into the officeroom. There were already some potential colleagues there. It seemed like a nice atmosphere to immediately feel at home.
A Surinam Hindustani man came in and gave a general introduction to the work and the company. He didn’t care for making calls himself, so he did other things. Next to me sat a monster of a guy. A hardcore Ajax fan. Stefan made me very comfortable because he saw that I was nervous. In front of me was a famous guy from a dance program. Virgil was very sympathetic to his status. Lorenzo, a Hindustani young man who knew quite a bit about the call center industry, was also sitting at the front. A sweet, nice girl from Turkey who would later leave during the introduction week. And an oversexed man who didn’t take it all that seriously. When the Hindustani man finished the intro, he passed the scepter to a little girl with a stern look who came in…
So then…she made no bones about it, she introduced herself directly and without sympathy. We all looked surprised. Never heard this name before? So she wrote it on the board…So you know right away.
Lydia had her own way of introducing herself.
Somehow she had immediately gotten into a battle with Virgil. Because the proposal round did not go the way she wanted. So Stefan was suddenly allowed to introduce himself. Same tune as net, dog, Ajax fan and relationship. Lorenzo started to sweat. But don’t worry, it went well.
We had survived the first day. We were on tram 3 on the way to the station. So cool we finally had a job. Everyone was a little afraid of the trainer. “She’s from Ado,” said a colleague. “Yes, that’s why she’s strict,”
I was also a little scared. I better do my best with her. Because I also had my first collision with Lydia: I gave the wrong answer. Stefan, who knew absolutely everything, reassured me. βIt’ll be fine,β he said. But Lydia had completely different words for me. “Seriously… if you don’t understand this yet then a lot has to happen.” Ruthless.How the hell am i supposed to know his sort of things. I am not even trained yet?! Helloo??
Even though the first intro week was over, we were still far from done. I was given homework for the weekend. And i went for it. Lydia’s firm words haunt my head. Was this her method of motivating me? Or did she really want to dump me? Because otherwise she would have done that immediately, right? So I had to prove myself. Pfff, the knives were already sharpened during my early start at the call center. I tried really hard to learn the material. I didn’t want to disappoint this tyrannical trainer.
It was like a battle! Just wait…I’ll show you on Monday that I studied really hard and that I won’t disappoint you…
Then the following Monday I did it. Lydia noticed that I had prepared well this time. The test was passed. And she came to my side and gave a nod of agreement. A bit distant, but still. A compliment is a compliment. And especially from someone like her…
Now we were ready for the calls…
That wouldn’t be until next week… to celebrate this, Lorenzo and I smoked an Amnesia joint after we finished training. Whoa, the weed from Zoetermeer was incredibly powerful. This is how marijuana should be. It just couldn’t be better… Everything was suddenly very beautiful about this city… Lorenzo took his tram after we had eaten some fries. And I went to almost all the shops in Centrum West. I was in a daze even though I had long since been stoned. A song came from the speakers…
πΆ”Iedereen is van de wereld en de wereld is van iedereen πΆ
I didn’t know then that I would never forget this song again….
The first conversation with my supervisor. There she sat.
Celine introduced herself. A sporty looking girl with exaggeratedly large eyes. Was this a model or something, I thought as I sat in front of her. Why are all the supervisors here in absolute fit shape anyway??? Both men and women. Sharp and fit
She appreciated the fact that I played sports. She explained the trajectory for the next 6 months. A folder with an explanation of the calling systems and a box with a headset. And I also received a few compliments from her. What a nice welcome!
The first day of calling was as it should be. A slightly older lady sat next to me and introduced herself as Willemijn. The guardian of the conversations. Nice to meet you!
A super nice woman. Listen carefully to her, said ‘Sjoerd’, an older gentleman who had been working in the call center for years. I immediately got along well with this funny gentleman. The trainer came in with a serious look and then made fun of the supervisor or actually more of a diss. So out of nowhere. I immediately thought dangerous. It touched me that she spoke to the other recruits but skipped me. Was she perhaps being extra cautious in approaching me on purpose? But why? What did I do wrong? I suppressed a number of conversations out of frustration. I literally took courage and then had a number of conversations. And without me knowing it, the trainer was suddenly there. That’s it! I thought this is where it ends…But no, have a nice weekend and keep busy! It took some getting used to in the beginning. Hmm, I thought this is about perseverance. And that suited me well.
Some colleagues had apparently been in the system for years and made it pleasant and fun. A colleague with the words “Satan” on the back of his shirt walked across the floor and came to meet us. βYou’re pretty good for a new guy,β he said. Afsal had been here for years but was a bit near the end of his life. And was the “ruler” of the back fields on the calling floor. Gosh, I thought I’d become like that too over time?
βWelcome to hell,β yet another colleague said to me. You don’t really have a problem seeing it that way. Oh well, I have been in front of hotter fires, I replied stoically.
Wow, that promises something, he said back again and looked at me like he saw the Devil
October 2023 Scheveningen
It was as if we woke up in another world. The sky twilight was very different from before. This is not really what October is supposed to look like. It was far too beautiful for it. That realization was there with Mary as she galloped her legs in the bathtub. I was happy for her because her old friend from the monastery was visiting. just for a few days. Sophie just rolled out of bed took off her sleeping gown and stepped into the bathtub as well. If I wanted to soap them with the body wash. Of course I did.
Mary: wauw I didn’t know you used to be anorexic.
Me: was more a result of body dysmorphic disorder
Sophie: negative self-image
Me: yep I was terrified of getting fat. I constantly think I am too fat when I look at myself in the mirror for example
Mary: oβ¦my god you have fat-o-phobia!
Me: when I was young I always thought obese people ate little children.
Sophie: obesitias I think is a form of eating disorder right?
Me: half agree, not a disorder anyway.
Mary: I think it’s just responsibility you have a choice to become obese or not. you have control over it. You’re not born an anorexic or obese baby anyway. So you can definitely do something about it then. Either way you have control over it. It’s a choice you decide.
Me: I think it’s deeper anyway, because when I thought anorexia it wasn’t a choice for me to eat or not. The choice was not even releveant. One was not an issue. So it wasn’t about having choice or not I think. I think it is a result of a prior trauma what you would have experienced recently
Sophie: So in your case, for example, you have body dismorphia disorder because you feel fat all the time and you always want to appear slim? And then automatically adjust to eating less or not at all?
Me: Yup, but body dismorphia disorder goes much further than that, I also find myself for example sometimes too dark.
Mary: you have a fetish for pale skin so
Me: I want to be as white as possible
Sophie: like michael jackson? because he bleached his skin they said?
Me: I don’t know, but well that’s one of the things, I’m preoccupied with my own image. Not even interesting how others see me but how I see myself.
Mary: so when you pose naked for your art assignments, for example, is that actually a kind of challenge for you instead of being an exhibionist?
Me: exhibitinistically not really. I find it interesting to see my own imaging of myself channeled back into, say, a piece of art or a painting drawn after me.
Sophie: So that can give a different image of yourself in the end.
Me: It can help you to accept yourself. I have been doing it for many years and it has become an art form.
Mary: You channel your creativity into acting, performing and posing for art. So could the next step be something with body art for you?
Me; that is something I am currently working on and can get a lot of creative joy out of that as well. On the one hand for my own exploration of my own limits and I like to play with that. I am struggling with the thoughts of the public opnie and sometimes that also goes against the public opnie. It is sometimes precisely the intention that some creative forms of expression go against the public opnion, but become more available to the real professionals who also move in those spheres. in Art, most of what you do is always expired afterwards. it is an expression that you leave behind, an impression that you put down, an act. you use most of your body for that. And I think you can give it your own interpretation. Artists understand each other. And if you are not an artist but do love art, it is even more beautiful.
”So do we” said the ladies almost at the same time. you must continue in these areas of art and in th beginning you will have to throw in some extra solid base I was told in advisory terms. They hinted at what I was going to do alongside it. It is too valuable to just let all this go. That was pretty high on my mind too. I wanted to continue in film and art. And it entertains me and I can learn more and more. In the process, I find that I can accompany myself with quality people who are all valuable. One thing is that I do not discriminate and do not really feel like it. Being changed, having words put in my mouth, having to take opinions from foolish idiots, I am too curious and skeptical for that. I love to discover and explore. And with my creative mind I really want to make the most of it and be a heaven for people I can inspire or entertain.
And with that I think art is a medium for doing that. it can be a platform for representing things that nrmaal not just can in the ordinary course of things. And that’s exactly why you can do that because you experience it in a framework of permissibility. Art can be a tool to break thought processes to smash taboos, to smash world views. But it can also be provocative or very controversial. This makes it a bjzonderheid every time to wander into its inexhaustibility. It can have a metaphorical purpose, to tell something that will not normally catch on and to convert it into a form of expression of your own vision and ideas. To think of a way to bridge the gap to an audience for certain topics or issues in our society. Art for me is therefore more than just channeling your ideas into expression. You can really achieve something with it. both for yourself and your crative environment.
December 2023 Scheveningen
There were two other guys on the line with me for the ceremony. Blindfolded and gagged. And naked. Phoebe stood in front of us and painted us with hurtful slogans. “Whore” “Dumbo”
βFuck.β She took her time because she enjoyed it. And she didn’t miss anything. She even used brushes for the details. And to add to the humiliation, she sometimes blow-dried the paint a little faster. That could hurt in certain places. But that was also the intention. Because then she could paint the next layer of paint on our naked bodies. When she was finally done she took off our blindfolds one by one. And we were able to view her skills. Our mouthgags were still on…The dried paint stuck to my pubic hair. I looked down. She really hadn’t missed anything. And even did the feet. For all three of us. I thought that was quite nicely done…
Many gothic elements but with contrasting pastel slogans. The worse the word, the more gothic I noticed…..
Apparently Phoebe was far from finished because now came the real work. She drew a large pentagram on the ground. And placed candles near it and threw in a mixture of sand and spices. Afterwards, all three of us still had to stand in the circle, gagged. We were positioned in our posture as a kind of triangle. She undressed and took a seat between us. And brought a big bucket of red paint…
Phoebe: I’m the eye in your triangle, hold on to me!
Obediently we held her. And with a brush she drew slogans again, but this time on our foreheads. I read what she wrote. I was given the title of “the holy spirit” as the other two became the son and father.
Phoebe: put your left hand on my chest, and your left hand on my buttocks.
I was allowed to hold my left hand against her pussy. Lucky bastard that I am…our three unit was on! Then she took the bucket of paint and poured it on us. The circle turned red.
Phoebe: repent!!!
She was really into it. I thought it had something kinky. The other two boys also enjoyed this. In fact we all enjoyed it. What a nice ritual!
Then all three of us had to leave the circle again, covered in blood and with humiliating slogans on our bodies. She ordered me to get the Christmas lights because what she did next was really satanic. This is downright evil. Wow!
She inserted part of the cord into her pussy with the lights still on.
Phoebe: and now you can plug in…
No sooner said than done. Phoebe completely went with her vibe. And played with her breasts. Unfortunately we were only allowed to watch. She pulled the illuminated cord out of her vagina again. And one by one, a lit light came out. I was struck by how much room she had in her kitty. Looked like a warehouse!
When the cord was pulled out she continued with her physical self-adoration. Three erections stood over her. We understood the message and took action. A masturbation show. We watched our shadows cast by the candles along the pentagram. Then we sprayed our jizz on Phoebe’s face…and she took us into her one…by one..This was love at photogenetic level
Phoebe: SWITCH!
Some kind of code word or something?We were empty, we couldn’t take anymore. But Phoebe wasn’t done yet…This demon daughter of Eleanor was not at all what I had imagined when I first met her. She was much better. I was in love….
Phoebe had me completely under her control. I did several “rituals” the principle worked properly.
June 2015 The Hague
I woke up with a bottle of water next to my bed. Or at least the couch I slept on. It was Ellen’s couch.
Ellen: you looked a little too deeply into the glass last night
Danny: thank you for your loving water bottle.
Ellen: do you have a hangover?
Danny: nope
She walked around the room in only her underwear and a long nightgown. And placed her bare feet on the table. Nice and vulgar but logical, after all it is her table. I tickled her under the soles of her feet..
Me: flat feetπ
Ellen pulled her feet back a little. We freshened up and then went to McDonald’s. Taking selfies and making funny faces. We drank our milkshake. We hugged each other and went home again. At home, Ellen sent the photos she had taken. Funny, we’ve known each other for quite some time now. As if it were yesterday. I met her when she had just been hired at the call center where we worked for the consumer association. She immediately won an award as best newcomer. And…that’s why she immediately got my attention. A white girl. A nice one too. And we vibe! Matching zodiacs. She must be twinnie. Libras and twins get along well with each other. She didn’t work there for long. Me neither, by the way.
We had some really fun moments like our first “date”. That was the premiere of Man of Steel in Pathe The Hague. Nice to have a photo for the movie poster. Ellen was a rocker and an adventurer. And very independent. There was a moment of affection when we touched our heads slightly during the romantic scenes in the film. What a beautiful moment with Ellen! We met up regularly and became very good friends. And left it a bit open when people asked about our relationship. It’s none of your business was our motto.
Ellen thought it was cool that I was sporty and thought my legs were great. I actually thought so too. That was due to training in the gym. I asked if she wanted to come along. She might do that someday. I was on my way to the gym myself. A new Indonesian employee was trained.
Nice lady! But also a little bit strange.
I walked to my group and asked Fred and Vincent for an explanation…
Fred: The Power!
Vincent: our shine king of the gym, do you have a new girlfriend?
Me: I’ve known her for a long time. Just friends
Fred: had you heard anything about your application?
Me: yes, mid-August for an intro interview and then a week or two off and then the two full weeks of training starts.
Fred: no talkie talkie, but fucky fucky
Me: Excuse me?
Fred,: hahaha π Have you met the new employee yet?
I didn’t like her at first. So I just “acknowledged” the fact that she was there. No more. After all, I only came here to train. In the meantime we had boot camp lessons from Kirsti
She was looking forward to it!
Kirsti: come on!
We broke down, lunges, push-ups, abdominal exercises. The whole workout was a killer. But oh so delicious in the end. The testosterone rushed through our bodies and I went to take a shower. The new employee came in to close the windows. I got out of the shower naked with a towel covering my private parts. She did a grab action with her hands. I liked her. Spontaneously. We then had a glass of wine in the cafe below the gym. A start of a very pleasant friendship. Wahjuni was a fitness instructor herself and had a body to fall in love with. And incredibly strong. Her feet were sore and I saw her massaging them. I helped her and put her feet on my lap.
Present Day Eden Mansion
Tomboy: so from July 1, stalking will be punishable and declared as crime?
Me: yes, but also, for example, intimidation, discrimination and racism
Tomboy: Puta Madre!
Sheeba: That was already the case, wasn’t it?
Me: That’s right, but nothing was done then, but now it is!
Sheeba: I think we live in a society where everyone should be able to be themselves without prejudices
Tomboy: But you’re allowed to have an opinion, right?
Me: That’s okay, but maybe not everyone wants your opinion
Tomboy: Huh?
Me: you are not obliged to have an opinion π
Sheeba: some opinions are negligible, especially if they are repeated too much
Me: look…and then it becomes annoying and then we speak of intimidation and then you really reveil what track you on.
Tomboy: and you also have to ask permission first if you want to have sex with someone?
Me: That’s obvious, isn’t it? I mean otherwise it’s called rape, right?
Sheeba: that is why this new law is indeed good
Tomboy: There’s a tendency these days that some things can just happen
Me: and…that is no longer the case…
Me : Yeah but its has become more strict with the rules lately, people will try to and do anything possible to reach someones space, but it is that simple , it is simply not your business.
Tomboy: a creative process is not allowed to be spoiled..
Me: that is true.
Tomboy: how about privacy rules at movie sets and on stage performances?
Me: very strict..phones shut or not even allowed at movie sets for some productions.
Tomboy: it is ony for involved ones you mean?
Me: precisly
Sheeba: hmm i am totally not so fine with camera’s and stuff you now..
Me: explain..
Sheeba: i mean, you have totaly no shame when you perform your act. Whether that is for movies or for theatre or for events als stage performer.
Me: the fact that i am a true supporter of body positivity and body confidence gives me that advantage. I mean if you particularly want to talk about the intimate scenes..
Tomboy: how about privacy rules during intimate shoots for photography or drawing classes?
Me: also new rules. so in that case you actually only perform for “closed audience/class”. When i pose for art classes then there are no camera’s and so on allowed. privacy is a human right and the belt are very tied for that reason. Otherwise you give unneccesary access to people who dont belong in your space at that moment. And not to mention that there is a creative process going on meant only for involved ones.
Tomboy: and what is the difference then like performing for a open audience at an event or festival?
Me: That is an open event happening at the running time as the performance goes. And even then you already rehearsed your part many times under closed circumstances..
Tomboy: do you also get a boner sometimes when you pose naked?
Me: Not at art classes. but to the more easy going assignments like workshops or private sessions. And also the reverse hing happens as well…
Tomboy: do you fantasize that i could be there as well drawing you too?
Me: yes..
Tomboy: puta madre!
Sheeba: and me??
Me: yes..you too but i prefer it for real..
Tomboy: you mean in person?
Me: yup. or dont you dare..are you a buhler?
Sheeba: will you get turned on if i would be in person drawing your body. Your vulnerable just a piece of raw meat body in front of me.surrendered to my sights. Do you want that?
Me: yes!
Tomboy: because we have a mental connection we can see each other beyond our materialistic body. We are more interested in the psyche, the person behind it, the soul, the experience,the mind, the person as a whole.
Me: that is exactly what i meanβ¦same minded people..therefore only in closed audience and consider this it is ultimalty just an act.
Tomboy: Difficult for some to understand. You go to hard. because you really have come much further into the cinematic fields of movie making. And taking courses and classes at theatre as well i noticed?
Me: I like to channel my creative flows in different ways and platforms. It gives depth to my artictic character and besides that i really enjoy it.
Tomboy: Is it different? acting on stage and for film?
Me: Practically you can do take after take at a movie set, until you have the right scene. But on stage you perform the scene flawless with no errors and mistakes. The audience is already there!!! The mistakes you can make during rehearsals and practices because then there is no audience.After a lot of repetitions and extensive practice the whole play is then absorbed by my entire soul.
Sheeba: So then! you become the character!
Me: Yes! And that is what i like about theatre, not only you learn to memorize your role but also to be in the moment at the right moment. For persona building and especially playing a character this is my favorite piece of acting. I can completely dig into a character and become that character.
Tomboy: It is good to be busy doing what you like to do, Dannyboy
Sheeba: Not everone likes art and movies. Are you aware of that?
Me: i dont care, i do
Tomboy: we also and we support you!
Present Day Eden Mansion
We tried it again. This time Chandramukhi wanted to participate to generate extra energy. And a new swami introduced himself. A hare krishna master who could go deepβ¦ very deepβ¦
Swami: parnaam i am swami guru nayak
Me: Hello Swami!
The swami said that he could go further into the other dimensions and used more sound applications.
Roshni: are we ready? Chandra you too?
Chandramukhi: yes, let’s just do it.
The meditation began. The swami started chanting in a rhythmic manner. And rustled in sync with his bell at the end of his mantra sentenceβ¦
Chandramukhi: I see something!! fuck!!
Me : what then?!!
Roshni: I see it too!!
Automatically my head went to the swami and as if a freeze occurred for a while In slow motion I saw the swami look at me and then say:
”we’re not allowed to be here” shiva is going to burn me!!!β¦
blood flowed from his eyes and black saliva came from the corners of his mouth. He went up in flames!!
I looked for Chandramukhi but it was too lateβ¦she looked at me helplessly and she too spontaneously burst into flamesβ¦
time seemed to pass normally again and Roshni gasped.
Roshni: I’ll stop this!! enough!!
I held her and reassured herβ¦
me: it doesn’t matter, we’ll find a way..
Roshni was done with this dangerous form of yoga and opening dimensions to another world. She lost a swami again and just cant afford another one. She bent over the ashes of Chandramukhi and started to cry. She wanted to be alone…for a long time. Somehow i could understand her. I tapped her shoulder and gave her a goodbye kiss..
September 2024 Fox Hotel
I was right in the middle. Iris and Bella were almost asleep with their full Ben & Jerry ice creams. I played with the spoon and caressed their vaginas. The wine had taken me well.
Bella: time to cool downβ¦
Bella grabbed my crotch hard and Iris grabbed my throat.
Iris: we’re going to fuck you!
Me: what??
Bella: hands down!
She tied my hands to the bars of the bed and started to take on my ass. I felt her inside me.It felt dominating..
Me: arrgh that hurts!!
Iris: yes!!!
Bella: Do you want boiled egg or scrambed egg!
Me: what?!
This was something crazy when Bella was already mind mapping her day. And not forgot what she is going to serve for breakfast
me: thnx bella i feel you..
Iris: and now lick!!
She pushed her breasts in my face. Automatically I surrendered to her desires.After the sensational “quicky” we freshened up again. And our thoughts went to the party that was to come.
Bella: I heard that Mary’s friend is coming too
Iris: yes Phoebe organizes it herself
Bella: yes but I mean her friend
iris: oww you mean Sophie, Mary’s childhood friend
Bella: from the convent?
Iris: yes, but don’t worry, she’s just an atheist
Bella: awesome!
Finally the time had come, because a few days later we went to the party. it was wicked crazy. Mary and Sophie came dressed in style as nuns just like before in the old times when they were young. And Bella and Iris as SM mistresses. Phoebe was leading the party as showmasterβ¦and grabbed the microphone:
”Dear ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my freak off party!!
Our first performance tonight!!
the stage curtains rose and a masked pole dancer performed her skills..Phoebe called me to the stage and stationed me in a chair in front of the masked ladyβ¦a soaking wet lap dance greeted me.And she undressed in the middle of the club!! and then she took off her maskβ¦
“Abigail!!”
what a surprise! She was part of the plan all along. Behind her stood Henrique waving at me. I hadn’t noticed him either.While the performance had just ended, Phoebe grabbed the microphone again:
“Okay fucking bitches we’re going to hell now!! SWITCH!!
Foam and alcohol flowed down from the ceiling. half open mouths of dark and wasted people caught drops. Two gentlemen passed out and fell to the ground
Iris: hahaha so sick!!
Bella: piss on those fuckers!
Mary and Sophie pushed up their skirts and pissed the unconscious men awake. A gurgling sound of vomit and cries for help were overwhelmed by Iris’ shoutings
Iris: fucking humans!!
Bella: spit on that thing!
This was hedonism of the highest order. oiled bodies crawling on the ground. vomiting, convulsive people begging for help. naked men who were seen hanging from the dance poles in the club. Mary and Sophie threw vodka into the eyes of the trapped men and then looked at each other and said:
for the first time I saw Mary , Bella, Sophie and especially rock hard. The ladies deteriorated into monsters. Another fainting gentleman was dragged to the stage. Abigail tied him to the pole. And then a peculiar crazy game began. was it the drugs or alcohol? or all at once? When she called SWITCH the ladies were allowed to beat the man black and blue
Phoebe: SWITCH!
These were really firm punches. This was no child’s play. Iris also happily joined in. She was a man-hater like no other, and glowed with delight when the man almost started to cry.
Iris: no mercy motherfucker!!!
Phoebe: SWITCH!
Feminine power of the highest order. the man looked at me sadly hoping I would save him. Unfortunatelyβ¦..I won’t interfere or I’ll be screwed too. His teeth were flying out of his mouth from the punches the women were giving him. But it went even further. Bella and Iris took a lighter and burned away the man’s eyebrows. Wow, I thought to myself, I think things are going wrong now. I think this is assault. And if that wasn’t enough, Abigail appeared with a Barbie strap-on. In pink. And what a big one. Bella wet the strap-on and practically sucked Abigail. That turned me on quite a bit. Bella did it very sultry. Moreover, she was looking at me with her evil italian eyes. It looked like she was sucking me. Mary saw that and quietly observed me and whispered in my ear
Mary: do you want to be sucked too?
After which she gave me an omel reading out of sympathy and deflected it as a joke. By now the man had been made ready as the ladies had pulled down his pants. With their lighters, Bella and Iris singed pieces of the man’s pubic hair. This made him bend over and that was just right for Abigail. The poor gentleman groaned in pain and asked for help. The ladies became nervous because he was making too much noise. Phoebe didn’t think he had gotten enough yetβ¦.
Phoebe: SWITCH!
A salvo of punches and kicks followed and the man was actually knocked unconscious and meanwhile fucked. Somehow I could see the fun in it both as the performer and the one who has to endure it. My thoughts were quite lurid in that regard. Because the man was actually badly injured and being raped by the ladies. But I did nothing. I enjoyed it. What a sick mind i have but i dont care. So I took over the megaphone from Phoebe and shouted:
SWITCH!
I become one of them. I was a killer! And molester at the same time. I grabbed a mask on the bartable and put it on my face then i spoke to the man: I am batman! Then I spanked his ass with a empty bottle and raped him while i was laughing hysterically. I became evil himself.
And in the meantime, Phoebe sprayed the rest with the fire hose. the party lasted until the early hours. I didn’t even realize that I had lost my clothes somewhere during the orgy with the ladies, because I was completely naked when I came to andβ¦made up with lipstick and nail polish. even on my feet. Nice, I thought. I stood up among the sleeping naked bodies and looked at myself in the mirrors of the disco. hearts and clovers were drawn on my buttocks. For a moment i thought well..Luck is definitely on my sideβ¦
Present Day Library The Hague
Every time I came here I met her. as if it seemed predestined. She was already in her book with her angelic face. As former veterans of the casino, we secretly calculated our chances of meeting each other so often. It wasn’t even mathematically possible unless it was predestined againβ¦
Angel: the chance that you will continue in the catering sector is just as good as that you will do something else
Me: in other words, I can focus on something else..
Angel: something quieter than your daily activities..
Me: You mean something where I don’t move too much?
Angel: something with a chair and a tableβ¦
Me: and then something intellectual?
Angel: something office for example
I couldn’t ignore it, the advice she gave was always of a different kind. there was always some truth in it. But even though I wanted it, I almost gave up. After the misery yoga sessions with calling up the entity from the other dimensions, we had to make many sacrifices. Rosamund is in therapy for it. After all, she saw her new swami and her sweetheart Chandramukhi disappear into flamesβ¦right in front of herβ¦
Angel: science and spirituality can go hand in hand. It’s up to you to find balance in that..
Me: what do you mean?
Angel: it’s already there, you just have to do itβ¦
Me: well i want to , but not with the whole bullshitting around me
Angel: no parasitic annex toxic people
Me: Exactly angel, I’m a bit fed up with all those interfering parties that just out of nowhere interfere with me everywhere and nowhere.
Angel: I noticed indeed. a stalking ex-girlfriend who disguises herself as an informal caregiver is disturbing. Especially if, teamed up with homophobic and ultra-religious groups, things are going against you everywhere. Such a person will come up with the most absurd arguments and reasons, which in itself arouses suspicion in someone who is really above it.
Me: That’s exactly what I mean. That parasitic group that pretends to have the best for me is totally not based on mutual approval people noticed. as a matter of fact even they have their own thoughts…
Angel: and it’s good that people have now found out about that. That now reveals things differently.
Me: and that’s because people have a choice and rather prefer to think for themselves because coming up with arguments to get into someone’s space and pretending to help someone is weird, while the person itself is not on the same track as the so called ”helpers”
Angel: that works with stupid people, but also with smart people, the difference is that smart people realize it right away⦠and you have to take advantage of that because they are the goodies and not the fake ones. An ex girlfriend who is scamming from a callcenter of even pretending it is from a callcenter you worked for and trying to sabotage things you are doing in life is something people have noticed already..Is that person living in a bulb or something? Seems like she lost control totally, She only needs to realize it. Or perhaps she is mentally disturbed?
Me: nice words Angel..
Angel: the point is we live in a free country, where opnions or self made constructions and ideologic bullshit has no place since they are all subdued to the Dutch Law. In fact it means that you can wave away by ease these bullshit..
Angel’s words came over me like a puff of soft satin. A reassurance and a motivating twist to the whole thing gave me courage to look at options for how I could fill my empty times. After a few hours of studying in the library, I took the tram back home. It had just stopped raining again. I looked at the rain radar and saw that it would remain dry for the next three hours. I had a regular 5k match on my program. Straight through the forest or along the roads. It didn’t matter much because in the end I got back to 28 minutes. My maximum for the time being is the 5k. But it could have been done a little faster. I sprinted and then saw that one temple that I had run past so often. Since I didn’t have my water bottle with me, I went inside. The spiritual director of the temple welcomed me. βJust call me Pandit,β he said. Very bizarre, it was as if he knew what I was doing. I was thirsty. But he asked me if I wanted to come in. My eyes shifted to the immense altar and my gaze fell on the special book in the middle of the altar.
Me: wow is that the indrajaal?
Pandit: I know what you are looking for..
Me: oh yes??
Pandit: I can make the bridge where you want to go.
Did he realize that I wanted to go to the office? or did he mean something else? I was not very fond of swamis and did not want to experience it bursting apart and going up in flames again. The pandit read a passage from Shiva’s book of the dead. According to legend, no one is allowed to read this book. It is forbidden for people. Simply because the human mind cannot bear what awaits you. Since I had already experienced quite a lot, I gave it a chance. The pandit threw flowers in the air. Normally these would fall to the ground, butβ¦ not these flowersβ¦ the flowers took shape like a kind of rotating wreath. It became a portal The pandit was still intact. Fortunately, a portal appeared in the rotating wreath. And then I saw her whom the swamis had also seen. Huh I know her but she looks a little differentβ¦ She shouted somethingβ¦
“Hey Danny, it’s meβ¦. Solina!
Me: hey Solina!
I fell backwards, wow I made contact with someone from another dimension from the past who in the present time is asking me about the future, I quickly calculated. But why did i call her Solina just as replu while her name is β¦My thoughts were interupted when the pandit closed the indrajaal and the revolving garland fell to the ground.
Pandit: It’s time, they are calling you..
Me: where to?!
Pandit: towards the use of your free time in the future with the help of the past for the present
Had the pandit shown me various times of a frequency? And inter connected me precisly with the exact tune of the moment. How was this possible? He gave the answersβ¦ and then suddenly I knew. A vision with a mission. I could either wait for the future to come to me or I could chase my future and shape it myself. With the current standard, with the current state of expertise. With the current toolsβ¦I couldn’t really ignore it anymoreβ¦
2016 Zoetermeer
Chaos, hectic, disorder. What the fuck is happening here, I thought when I arrived at the office from the call center. Sad faces. Had someone died?
I took a seat behind my desk and Stefan next to me delivered the news…
Stefan: we’re getting another supervisor. Celine is going on maternity leave
Me: Well…how wonderful! And who is our new SV?
Stefan: hold on…
Me: I don’t understand, what’s so intense about it?
Stefan: Lydia will be our new supervisor
Me: God damn why?! You are kidding me?!
Stefan: yes…that’s why I’m already looking for another job…
A certain fear or something like that went over the whole floor. I went to get a story from the trafficer.
Me: hey Jelle, did you hear? We get that one strict one like sv
Jelle: as a senior, she won’t be too bad
Everything this trafficer usually said was true. And that was true…a conversation was arranged with every colleague in our team. “Good luck with the interview later,” said Inge, an older woman who always rang the bell with her jacket on. A snakeskin jacket. Immediately noticed. ..and a bag of throat lozenges on her desk. I actually wanted a piece of candy too.
She always had good scores this call center animal.
It was finally my turn to have the conversation,
No room. But she just got on the floor. ? Why is she suddenly SV? She was a trainer, right? Quite a nice conversation. No stress! So she wasn’t too bad. Yet many were not really charmed by her. Become a βmegamindβ your new supervisor said a colleague. Quite striking that he was no longer a colleague after that…
Listen to who’s talking, I said, pointing back at his big belly. You’re quite mega yourself, I said. It’s because of a lot of beer, he said back. Well in that case megamind is mega because she thinks a lot, I explained. Well said, said Inge. I noticed a remarkable amount of friction. Oh well, I’ll see because I don’t know her yet except from the training back then. But other colleagues were already familiar with her. Sjoerd, the other employee in the company, was beaming with joy.
Sjoerd: I already predict it will be a battle, hihihihi
Me: what do you mean?!
Sjoerd: there has never been anyone like you here before, people still have to get used to that
Me: Mostly not, right?
Sjoerd: I’m talking about the Elite…
Vague man with his ominous words. This day was quite exciting, but everything turned out fine in the end. The following week I received my first coaching from Lydia. Wow, really compliments. And received some extra tips in a respectful manner for my conversations on the line “You are good with everyone” What did she mean by that?
She said it in such a way as if she wanted to alert you to something. I went to get a story from Afsal. The unit leader of his area. Everything in his area was dark colored. Hindustani people, Creoles, Suriname people and a few Indians.
Afsal: welcome to Mumbai haha, everyone start greeting our new brother
I introduced myself and was “included” by the group and we agreed to meet for the staff party in SnowWorld. Afsal explained what exactly my new SV meant.
She meant that you shouldn’t just trust everything and everyone, he said.
You can be good with someone, but you will learn here that not everyone can always be trusted.
This is certainly a good tip from the unit leader. Because indeed there were a number that you thought of . Hmm, this one isn’t quite right…
But for the time being I stayed in my own tribe of colleagues. Stefan asked if I would go to Amsterdam tomorrow. We would go by car. The next day I arrived at the office. One SV after another came in. Most of them on bicycles and some on foot…a large blue car entered the driveway.
The door opened and she then said, “come in!”
Wow what a big car. Stefan and I got into Lydia’s car. The other trainer was next to it. Eelkje was quite funny. We drove onto the highway. I was quite curious about this day. The radio came on. And Lydia played her playlist.
πΆ”I m a barbie girl, in a barbie world”πΆ
For real? π Lol!!!
Aqua?? That’s my band too!
It was crazy. We arrived in Amsterdam. Actually Amsterdam Sloterdijk.
Wow, this is just a Ziggo building. Cool! I took out my phone. And took pictures of the Ajax chairs in the lounge.
Look, on the other side, a series is being recorded, said Stefan. Huh, that’s the police, right?
Stefan: yes that is : Flikken Maastricht
I didn’t know this series that well. Stefan smiled at me and said:
“ it will be fine, one day you will know…“
Where are you now?, Eelkje waved to us. We went into another room and a collection of people were sitting here. We represented Zoetermeer. And the other people were from Maastricht, Tilburg and Zwolle. Those were the other colleagues. A kind of competition took place there. Technical questions about networks and such. We were at the top because yes, we have the encyclopedia in the form of Stefan. This man knew everything. The second part was a giant djenga game. Oh, not really our part. Logically, people from Zoetermeer are quite busy. And wild. Because after the competitions there could be drinks. “Come on Danny” let’s take a selfie π€³πΌ said Lydia. Oh dear, low battery, never mind.
Ooo…kee. And are you having a good time? Of course! I said back. We drove back tipsy. However, Lydia was driving because she didnt drink anything. We arrived back at the orchestra. We were still on the schedule ! But we just had a beer! Is that possible? I looked at Stefan questioningly.
No problem, that’s possible. Lydia and Eelkje were gone to home. I logged out after this fun day. My learning moment was that you should not just trust everything and everyone that I had learned the day before. Despite the fact that you are good together. But what if you are good together and have already found the right vibe?
To what extent does trust still apply? Anyway. I was only here in my second year in the call center and saw a new gentleman come onto the floor. That’s Tristan, said Varsha, my colleague who had also been there for years. Here too I noticed that not every colleague was happy.
Gosh what’s going on here?? Why does everyone hate each other here, I thought to myself. Of course I don’t know anything yet. But these colleagues have a history with each other. I’ll find out, I told myself.
A new group of new hires entered the floor. One girl really stood out. Hot pink sweater and sandals. Remarkably a lot of friction again. “She is wearing slippers, that is not allowed! Said a colleague”
It’s fucking hot I stood up for her. Yes, but that is not allowed, the colleague continued to direct. Pants below the knees, closed shoes and preferably no visible tattoos. The customer doesn’t like that. But what does the customer have to do with this? I didn’t understand that. Quite strange because the Quality Manager looked like a kind of Madonna with her short sexy skirt. It looked quite kinky on her, I said slimily when she assessed my conversation. And strange thought. In any case, I didn’t agree with this nonsensical rule. Further down in the fraud team, sales were going really fast. Terence was a good one. The heat also spread to the floor. The floor is lava! I shouted at Nathalie. The only girl who didn’t think it was weird that I was bisexual. Because I had told her that before. She was also a double herself, so she understood me like no other. I hadn’t told others about my orientation, I mean, but it wasn’t relevant, right??? I come here to work and be as comfortable as possible. Nathalie left her desk and asked if I wanted a cup of coffee too. She walked barefoot to the other side of the call center. Even Terence was wearing socks. In solidarity against that absurd rule. It was quite remarkable that an Indochinese girl continuously achieved good sales in that team. It seemed like she was winning sales with her looks rather than her conversation skills. But I thought she did a pretty good job.
The next day I met Marlien. I was immediately awake because this woman was crazy as hell. Derangement that itself shook me.
Marlien: ey my headset has a radio
Me: what?!
Marlien: yes and my children love music
Me: ????
Marlien was really sweet but also super crazy at the same time. She said she used to go on a road trip and secretly flirt with a cop when she was stopped.
Marlien: I was loose, but now everything is in control
Me: are you sure,.I asked to clarify?
Another colleague was amazed, Nick thought she was a special case.
Nick: whoa! what did they hire now?
Me: she’s pretty cool
Nick gave me a satanic handwave and took it to heart. A friendly gentleman, businesslike voice but chill attitude. You could really talk about anything with this wonderful colleague. And he liked beer. Then you are always in the right place.
Nick: excellent!
His shift was over and he took refuge in the supermarket. Beer was on sale
But of course..
and I totally agreed with him, to be honest I was ready for a drink tooand enrolled into the world of this callcenter..
Normally I get sick in these winter months. But not this time… The movement in my bodyflow from last summer was still there. I chose the local restaurant to work. But didn’t really like it much. The work itself was okay but doing catering in winter is not that lucrative. Wanted to do it purely temporarily, but that wasn’t in line with what the manager had in mind. And a strangling contract I wasn’t waiting for that. Flexibility in my schedule is intensely important to me. Especially now that I’m starting to get more of a feel for the film business….By the way, it was a pretty chill job otherwise. It was a nice thing to be part of the Chinese culture. Fantastic colleagues.But I found that too much emphasis was placed on certain aspects from managment. Things I just already knew and didn’t find challenging to do.Besides, I missed the sun. Daylight. I felt more like a vampire at this time and preferred to sleep out all winter…until spring would come again…I decided to spend a few nights at Eleanor’s villa on the beach….
Eleanor: In winter you shouldn’t work. You should go on vacation. Look for warm places. Otherwise you stop every time. You’re not a dark times person anymore, you follow the light….
Me: I understand you completely, but yes I want to keep busy
Eleanor: you have to do that then in the light.
Just watch…
She took me to her Jacuzzi. The technician who helped her had installed lights here and totally lit up the bathroom..there was a dial that made the lights flash just like a Christmas light. And completely A.I. controlled by her voice. On command it turned sky blue. I slid into the swirling mass of foaming water. Pleasantly warm. Very pleasant and rested my head and looked at the ceiling which was painted with luminous stars. That wasn’t there last time.
Eleanor joined me. Her light brown complexion from the summer sun had given way to a white pallor. She placed her pale feet on the edge of the jacuzzi, folded over each other. She asked for two glasses of Beaujolais. Who was she talking to I wondered? From a hatch on the wall appeared a wooden bottle holder with a bottle of BeaujolaisΒ
Me: wow, it just listens to your voice!
Eleanor: It’s robot controlled only it doesn’t quite work yet, the glasses didn’t come with it so we drink from the bottle then.
She moved the bottle up and down and screwed off the cap. “Taste it,” she said. It tasted exquisite. Good year. The sugars had converted well. The tanine hit you right away. After a while we were quite tipsy and sang Christmas songs. Eleanor really knew a lot of them. Logical she was a lot older than me so she had quite a lot of life experience and a bit more music knowledge. The warmth of the water in the Jacuzzi kept us drunk. Super nice feeling.Β Then she took the floor and then said “, blend colors”. A light-fest of colors appeared throughout the bathroom. Gosh the mechanic had really done his best by the looks of it. The colors adjusted to the time of night. It looked like we were in the sea with sky blue sky. The artificial sound of a steamboat and flying holograms of seagulls made the whole thing ultra realistic.
The wine, of course, provided a bit more depth. The sensation feeling was fine tuned.Β
We continued to float blissfully in her Jacuzzi. We secretly touched each other….under water.Β
Nice to be with Eleanor again. I told her I would return to the beach in the spring. She would eagerly wait for me… even if it took foreverΒ
————————————————————————-
Present Times Eden Mansion
Tomboy: how are the film assignments going?
Me: almost a year of acting/acting and super happy with it
Tomboy: only a year and so many productions already?Β This can trigger jealousy you know that
Me: I do not care about that
Tomboy: Well, you should.
Me: what for?
Tomboy: diva behavior? Star allures?
Me: who me?
Tomboy: just kidding, because you have an art background your expressiveness will always be misinterpreted by jealous people, remember that Danny. Your expressiveness is spot on by the way. What others think of it you should disregard. Your path is not someone else’s path.
Me: I don’t actually care what anyone thinks . As a cosmic pantheist, I’m immune to that.
Tomboy: explain..
Me: You have permission to adore me Satire isn’t for everyone either….
Tomboy: so now that you’ve also taken acting classes you’re continuing in the business?
Me: yes indeed! I notice it on certain productions where directors are already seeing that while I’m just an extra. And I think they realize that I want to go further than just acting.
Tomboy: facial expressions, body language, then text roles, I notice that you are trained in them.
Me: this is because I used to model for visual arts and sometimes still do. The threshold I had to set then can be an advantage in other forms of art, like acting.
Tomboy: You are not only movie special, also writer, painter, model for arts , and almost full-fledged actor.
Me: …and also performance art and doing theater stage plays occasionally
Doesn’t mean so much yo. Its just my expression of art. People do ask about it sometimes very ostentatiously I notice.Β
Tomboy: don’t tell anything, show your performance on stage, films and series.Β And fuck what they thinking of..
Me: Hell Yeah!
Tomboy: You will meet good people in this profession who really stimulate you to unprecedented heights, and also people who look at you with disgust. You have to understand that.
Me: someone with a conservative primitive mindset always has troubles with my expressive abilities. Whether as an extra or as a model or as an actor. A normal person who is on the same wavelength as me understands me completely. So I’m used to that by now. Besides, it’s immediately noticeable when someone like that is suddenly present on a film set who doesn’t really belong….
Tomboy: follow auditions and follow your own path and throw your greatest strength into battle
Me: and that is?
Tomboy: You can get along with e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e and everybody. And you have a modern mindset. People with a primitive mindset can’t stand that.
Me: seriously I really don’t concern myself with that, I’m not responsible for anyone’s opinion. I respect your opinion but your opinion is not my opinion….
Tomboy: opinions are disposable…
Me: anyway… i’m really looking forward to the new productions and assignments
Tomboy: you are on the verge of a time where you are going to get quite a lot of assignments and not the least also since you already have acting experience. Besides, an acting education is not even necessary because you can already act.
Me: I hear that more often than not. Still, I want to gain additional experience…thanks in part to the film people I work with, this will come. I am sincerely grateful to them for that. It gives a huge boost. Most extras you build something with as well. Nice people who motivate you and vice versa.
Tomboy: The strides you are making are going fast and hard, too bad if someone can’t keep up….
Can I be a little fan of you?
Me: I’d rather you be a fan of my qualities instead of me then. π
That’s how I see it with my cinematography heroes. Their celebrity status doesn’t interest me. It’s the acting qualities what I adore. The way someone puts a certain spin on a character or gives a performance. I can enjoy that immensely.
Tomboy: Suppose I also want to act in film, which casting agency should I go to in The Netherlands ? What are the best ones according to your expierences?
Me: All have their qualities you know, but the best experiences until now are Casting4 and Dynamic Casting in particular and B&F also in a way. Those three have meant the most to me so far. Getting to asked for the best films and series. Everything goes well through this casting agencies. Beyond perfection.Β Got many roles from them. And very professional. From briefing to catering to payment. These are really the three best so far. Respect!!!
Tomboy: do you ever do roles without a casting agency?
Me: yes, but it’s important to coordinate well regarding payments etc. Because that can sometimes go wrong.
Tomboy: So that means a delay in payment, you mean?
Me: Yes, and that doesn’t really give you an impuls to go back to an individual casting. I think you understand that too, don’t you? I’d rather have cash on the set from now on with individuals.Β
Tomboy: maybe you’ll get interest π
Me: whatever Tomboy (…. sigh…)
November 2023 ScheveningenΒ
Deepak and I were deeply impressed by Chandramukhi’s dancing skills. Like a wild goose, she shook her hips to the Bollywood classics from her own curated compilation. We clapped our hands together. What moves!Β
Deepak: Check out this girl!
Me: Whoa!
Chandramukhi was having a blast. She was a bit over the moon because she had also met Rosamund. And it was an instant hit. But for kundalini yoga, she had to wait a little longer. After all, Chandramukhi was “poisoned” by love and couldn’t clear her mind enough, because she was in love with Rosamund Deepak did understand it takes a certain conscious level to do this. “Your thoughts and head must be completely empty,” I added. “Totally agree , said Deepak” Everything I said Deepak also agreed by the way.
Chandramukhi: tss are you in love with Danny or something Deepak?
Deepak: maybe ..a little bit
Did he mean this ironically or did he mean it? I didn’t think anything bad about it. I think he wanted to do me. Honestly? He was the right age. Young curious and cute face. Big hands but very hairy. Ughh turnoff!!! I don’t like hairy. It has to be smooth.
Yet he had something feminine. Totally not macho tight cheekbones, eyes deep in the sockets. And full lips. Hmmm to kiss right away. Chandramukhi saw the way I looked at him. She recognized that look from thousands. The look that spoke volumes. The sociopathic staring look. That typical in me when I look at someone and like them. Bizarre, how do women always recognize this in me anyway?
Chandramukhi: Watch out Deepak, Danny is just undressing you with his eyes
Deepak: so what…why do you bother?Β
Chandramukhi understood and left us alone. She was sweaty and tired from dancing and went to freshen up. “Get him in the mouth” she whispered in my ear. “Shhht, go away Chan,” I snapped at her. “Do you like beer?” asked Deepak to me with his sweet baby face. “Yes of course!” Deepak smelled like coconut oil. Sat in his beautiful hair. When we opened the bottles he looked at me.
Deepak: I want to tell you something….
Me: yes tell me
Deepak: I want you…
When someone says this to me I don’t know what to say because I perceive this as a compliment. I then said:
Me : I want you too
Deepak: right now?
Me: right here..
From the bathroom, Chandramukhi shouted to put a sheet on her couch. She exaggerated. We just wanted to kiss for a while. But actually a little more. I spontaneously got an erection. Because of the vibe but also because Chandramukhi as it were guided us in what was to come soon….
That was immensely horny. Deepak’s eyes sank even deeper and he opened his mouth. He put his head down. And just then the doorbell rang
Me: fuck!
It scared the shit out of us. No worries. Chandramukhi had ordered roti again. The Hindu delivery man looked at us as if he saw a bunch of ghosts. Quickly he made his way out and Chandramukhi closed the door. She looked at both of us and put the food on the table.
Chandramukhi : for later ..first you two play….
Me : what the fuck?
Deepak : wow?
Forcibly Deepak had to play with my erection. And that while Chandramukhi was watching. This was incredibly powerful. Just think about it: I don’t even like Hindus. But now for a moment I did. Deepak had that typical slut look when he got close to my erection. He played and massaged me. Chandramukhi pretended she was busy setting the table. But secretly enjoyed it too. So was I. I undid his pants. Nice looking penis. Fantastic exactly like me. The surprise effect would soon come about. And incredibly his phallus was erect huge. A solid massive tower. It was a little fidgeting together under the watchful eye of Chandramukhi. She wanted me to take a shower with him. And then she wanted to watch. Totally fine. We gave her what she wanted. She enjoyed it. So did we. Really a nice guy was Deepak.Β
The three of us then philosophized about life and issues that concerned us.
Chandramukhi: we are in the Kaliyug
Deepak: end of times….
Me: all’s well that ends well
The kali yug freely translated is the age of Kali. The destructive part in the time era. The manifestation of total destruction. Kali was the dark destructive force of goddess Parvati. The companion of Shiva. That said enough…According to legend, she was called by the people to kill the local demon. But she could not do that in her normal form as Parvati, she then became Kali. The goddess of death and destruction. In that form she killed the demon but she continued in her urge to kill. She left a trail of destruction. One area after another was massacred and destroyed. There was no stopping her. And really nothing could stop her. No demon no god , nothing.
Kali was unstoppable. So badly broken in her urge to kill that only Shiva could stop her. Yet Shiva thought of something. He knew better than anyone how to calm his wife down.Β
He smeared himself with the burned ashes of the victims Kali had left behind. And lay down dead among the corpses. When Kali stepped on him she was shocked. For this was her husband! This was enough for her. She could no longer do so much harm. She then assumed her original form again and became the sweet Parvati again.Β From the dark demonic spirit to the light godly entity
Her energy merged with that of Shiva. The Shakti which ruled then had come into balance. The sweet part was for Parvati. The destructive part remained with Shiva.
We listen in swoon to the free translation Chandramukhi told us. The symbolism behind it is the total overpowering of life. And its acceptance in the end.Β
Deepak: tantra…
I nodded along as well. It was actually much deeper but this was broadly what it was about.Β
Me: Chandamukhi, can you tell us about the KamaSutra?
September 2023 Eden Mansion
Rosamund had now rolled up her yoga mat and I assigned her room. She would only be staying with us for a few days.Β
She was not very surprised to see the naked people walking in the building. She did, however, sneak a peek . She was used to it. But didn’t really expect it so to speak.
Me: do you feel uncomfortable ?
Rosamund: no worries getting used to it but is fine
Me: I noticed she was upset about something.
I figured it out she didn’t have a companion. She had always stayed alone. She did have a salamander in England but you couldn’t go to dinner with that. I told her I did know someone. That, of course, was Chandramukhi. They could become friends.I would like to see them together..
She jumped up from her bed and I showed her a picture. She immediately fell in love. “Shall I bring you together? “I asked her. Rosamund agreed. In appreciation, she gave me a lecture on awareness through yoga. It didn’t even matter which form of yoga you did. The unification with your body and the serenity you experience is already unprecedented. Meanwhile, she was making her bed. And asked if she could place candles and incense in the room. “No problem at all” I told her. What I wondered was why she was called Rosamund when she was half-blood.
Me : don’t you have a Hindu name like most Hindus do
Rosamund : you may also call me RoshniΒ
I looked at her and gave her a smile. Roshni means : the one who brings the light. Indeed that name does suit her. As I walked down the aisle of Eden Mansion I messagedΒ Chandramukhi. She was into it. Having a half-breed is always nice she knew from experience. In between I got an email I saw from Phoebe. I had not seen her for a long time. It would be time…soon.
September 2023 Scheveningen
Disco was the theme this time for the beach club’s final party. The preparations were in full swing, but not yet because in the meantime the bell was ringing at the hatch…not once, twice but 10 at a time. It was an emergency!
Chef : Kom op dan! Lopuhh!
Bartender: zo doe es ff rustig yo, we komen eraan!!!
From all corners employees appeared at the hatch. Both of the handymen, the two bartenders, even the gentleman from the sink was off his mark. And I too took a sprint and rushed to the hatch…arriving there, there was only 1 plate of fries with croquettes….
Handy1: Jesus wat een drama
Handy2 : huh, waar is de rest?
Chef: ja he he, die zijn natuurlijk al weggebracht troetelmuts, breng je deze ook ff weg lieverd, als-je-blieft?!
At the same time the sous chef asked where his coffee was. For the third time by the way. I became para and turned to the bartender and shouted:
“two coffees please!!! now!!!!”
And promptly two coffees were ready….
Sous chef: who is the bestπ
The sous chef struck a pose and did a Namaste greeting. Every time amazing how he did this. Peace had returned and it was a quiet moment for a moment. I grabbed my cloth and took a couple of trays. And then refilled the napkins. The sauces were still fairly full. And the patio was pretty much neat as well. The manager came up to me and I was allowed to go home. My shift was over. As usual, I then took a seat at the bar and enjoyed my glass of bon vivant. The tastiest beer there is. I asked the bartender what was planned for the final party. Only thing she could say was that pretty much everyone would be coming. That’s all I could get out of her. Meanwhile, there was an upbeat music fest going on in the kitchen. I took one look and got sucked into the vibe. Incredibly pleasant moments. Moments that will soon be gone. At least for this season….
September 2023 Eden Mansion
The new yoga teacher had arrived. A half-breed. Half British half Indian. Rosamund was her name. An extraordinary lady. And with quite a lot of knowledge. She had lived for years in India among the yogis and had mastered the basic principles of yoga. I was completely in a trance when she told me about Kundalini yoga. That is the most dangerous form of yoga. True, you need the first three chakras to activate it. But the power development after that takes place…out there. i asked her what happens when you activate all the chakras. Body expansion, clairvoyance, seeing with your extrasensory senses. Being able to feel sound. Being able to see energy. Experiencing light as photons. The true nature of the cosmos as it really is. The Adiyoga the connection with Shiva. The true manifestation of power.
An unprecedented form of yoga by the way that cannot be done without some guidance. A guru is necessary here. So Rosamund was the guru to tell us about this. She was curious to know who wanted to join in. Everyone had left the room…except me
We started with a mantra and as if by some miracle I begin to feel it. Wow this was totally different kind of yoga. The combination of the mantra with the configuration of your body poses brought the chakras into a position that made them open more easily. And then suddenly something from down came up through my intestines and flew through my body above my head, i couldnt describe this energy boost. It was far beyond my comprehension..
October 2023 Scheveningen
It was quite windy at the Pier of Scheveningen. Bella and me were walking and looking at the scenery of the end of this season. he force of the autumn wind almost blew her from the Pier. She held me tightly as we ate an ice cream….
Bella: do you like working in the bakery?
Danny: mwuaa, not really don’t think I stay there long. Ill keep it temporary
Bella: how about that then?
Danny: boring. And the cash register is too complicated. Everything is mixed up. It takes time to get through that. I don’t get that much time from the bakery. So just staying here for a while
Bella: doing really early morning shifts in the fall, I’m not looking forward to that myself.
Danny: not only that. I miss the thrill of beach life. The guests at a bakery are different from, say, the beach club where I worked. Customers at a bakery are mainly elderly not that i am against old people but the vibe then becomes rather corny. It is a different vibe
Bella: But you do lock up well, right?
I’ll do that anyway I told her, I think I’ll break the contract and then hand in my clothes and head for my next adventure…Maybe back to Scheveningen….
September 2023 Scheveningen
It was a crazy disco party organized by the beach club. For now, the staff was put in the spotlight. Full house and almost all staff were present. I had an outfit that was disco chiq. Neat jacket but still fancy. Nice creations passed by. Glitter, wigs, suits. The 70’s style. The club was also well designed according to the theme. There was a place reserved for the DJ who would arrive later. And on the terrace a place with delicious food and drinks. You could go to the bar yourself for beer and wine. And there was a photo booth. A collegue and me immediately took a photo together. One of my favorite collegue to work with by the way. All in fact. Also other collegues tried out the photobooth
Various props were there so that we could have our picture taken together. It was fantastic. It’s special to be the guest yourself for once. A nice briefing followed from the best handyman of the club, followed by the assistant. A quiz with fun questions. And then I found out that the boss is younger than the mistress and has gone to art school. What a hero! Hence the click. A group photo with all of us. And then the party started. We did naughty things on the beach and then again had a rap battle. The DJ was now in a higher mood and played fun disco classics alternated with contemporary beats. In between we went rowing, played beer pong, drank more and danced. With everyone. What a love.
The chef and sous chef wanted to take a picture with me in the photo booth. I got a kiss from both of them when the photo was shot.Sandwiched by kisses from these two loco people haha. Beautiful nice people that I will never forget. Then dance again. And drinking again and partying on the beats of the DJ Everyone participated. The boss, the boss” wife, the kitchen staff, the terrace employees, the runners. The chef took me aside and then said:
“making memories”
That…was so true
The best time of my life. The beginning of a new era had begun here for me. All credits to this fantastic beach club at the harbor next to the surf club. Grown enormously in all aspects. Received so much direction and a baggage full of immense possibilities. Thank you dear people for this wonderful time at this beach club it was amazing!
Forever grateful β€οΈ
September 2023 Eden Mansion
Rosamund reassured me as I activated my chakras. I felt an enormous serene calmness that I could transfer. The real energy is not in matter, Rosamund said. This energy comes from the dark matter. The real power. This was the craziest form of yoga. This was not what I got in regular yoga classes. This was different.
This is a well-known phenomenon in Vedic science. So it is quite normal for yogis who practice this. But a Westerner can experience this shockingly. The deepest of the deepest. Our senses have limits in the material world. As a result, we only see a fraction of the light spectrum. But not during this form of yoga…
You see everything. And that is really true. However, the most dangerous part is returning to the material body. So that process received support from Rosamund. She was great at this. It is bizarre to feel how you come back to earth. I tripped over my yoga mat and fell forward. Rosamund said it’s quite normal because I’m returning back into my psycical body from my astral body. I realized that i truely wen out of my physical boundaries of matter. I thanked her for this experience.
For the first time I experienced what it was like to pass through dimensions without any substance. It was like being stoned or drunk. But without weed and alcohol. This was purely natural. That’s how it could be done, I thought. Kundalini yoga is also a topic that many scientists are concerned with. It really happens and these vedic principles of this form of yoga was widely practiced by people from all walks of life. The tea I got afterwards felt like I was drinking tea for the first time. My esophagus had to get used to this again. I was curious about Rosamund and asked if she had a boyfriend. She did have a relationship, but with a woman. She had never had a relationship with a man before. It didn’t really bother me that much either. Non relevant. She asked if I was in a relationship. Well… occasionally, but not binding. There are so many fruits on the tree, she said with a smile, so somehow she could understand it. I not only like the fruits, I said, but also the leaves, the branches and sometimes pieces of the bark, and sometimes also the root of the tree. Aha, she said, you are pansexual.
The first person I didn’t tell myself about my sexuality…but came up with it myself…and it was completely fine. I looked deep into her eyes. Spiritual scientific vedic. Rosamund was a special girl…
November 2023 Scheveningen
Brrr, it was fucking cold. Winter had arrived early and it showed. The whole vibe I normally had in mind was completely smashed on the harbour. After helping my customers with a herring sandwich, tasty pastry and, above all, lots of fries, I walked to the tram. A familiar face. Chandramukhi! What is she doing here?
Chandramukhi: I was curious how you were doing, you’re so hard to reach man, gosh!
Me: oh yes that is to save data for my phone. Airplane mode means your battery won’t drain as quickly
Chandramukhi: I understood that you had done Kundalini Yoga, how was it?
Me: eye-opener
Chandramukhi: Shiva’s yoga is the most dangerous form you can do.
Me: no worries, I received the right coaching.
Chandramukhi: Would you like to watch Bollywood movies with me?
Me: of course
I went to her house and first ate a roti with potato/long beans and vegan snacks. Chandramukhi put on a movie and one song after another was sung.In Bollywood films it is common that it is not the actor or actress themselves who sing a song when there is a dance scene….
Chandramukhi: Did you know that Bollywood movies has an greater audience then Hollywood movies?
Me: i know that. But Hollywood productions cost more and earn more π
Chandramukhi: And did you know that Asha Bhosle has sung the most songs ever?
Me: Not Kishore Kumar?
Chandramukhi: no, he was the most popular. The all-rounder. Every actor wanted him as a playback singer.
Me: No wonder he still has won the most filmfare awards as best singer to date
Chandramukhi: In fact, he was nominated in the best playback singer category with only his songs.
Me: That’s right, I know, it wasn’t even a question that he was going to win. But with which number
Chandramukhi: he was super eccentric and quite a weirdo
Me: He was quite crazy but a genius.
Chandramukhi: he was the best, he was also converted to all possible religions and then not again. in fact, he was actually an atheist. But he loved Christian movies.
Me: there was something mystical about him
Chandramukhi: special person. I recently met someone from Hindi classes and I would like to introduce you to him. He is very interested in you
Me: oh really? A Sugar Daddy?
Chandramukhi: Call it a Sugar cousin
A little later after Chandramukhi had texted Sugar’s nephew, the doorbell rang. A light-skinned young man stood in the doorway. At least not really a boy. I think it’s non-binary. Because there was something feminine about him. It did appeal to me. A little younger than me. Still pristine and innocent. Chandramukhi matched me well and introduced me to him
Me: hi nice to meet you…Deepak
Present Times Eden Mansion
Tomboy: so if I understand correctly, you will be going abroad soon.
Me: yes, first work on the beach for a few months and then work and live there. Not alone, of course, but with like-minded folks, and I can also do my hobbies over there
Tomboy: that’s really great, because then you also have international experience, with your film assignments and art as well.
Me: for that reason and in between you can take leave and then I will be back in the Netherlands for a few days for the premiere of films or for family, but mainly I will first take a holiday here and there and not go all out here.
Tomboy: that’s good, you shouldn’t work in the winter anyway, but just take a holiday and actually also in between, you’ve worked too much lately and you can now take some rest. Work an average of 2 to 3 days. Because otherwise you will get overload. And focus on film and art assignments, that is your destination and your talent will be better reflected there. And take holidays once in a while.
Me: I enjoy working in the catering industry, but to be honest. Soon enough i will be endorsed into the film industry. But this combo is not bad at all for the moment
Tomboy: I notice you’re being offered more roles. So I have every reason to be a fan of yours.
Tomboy knew exactly what my destiny is and where I will continue it. And with this range of options, I have almost infinite options to do.
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