She came bleeding like a bovine and Carlos quickly caught the blood with a tissue. And put it in a test tube. A gust of wind blew into the lodge. And made the windows rattle. Outside, the cows lowed to the sounds of the evening. The lodge provided shelter for misfits from the nearby areas. Everyone could find shelter there. But not everyone was able to stay there. Rumors spread that the lodge was cursed and ghosts haunted it. The gardeners who worked on the farm surrounding the lodge during the day did very strange things at night. And especially underground.
“Beneath the lodge where shadows creep, The gardeners wake the eartlings from sleep”
was a well-known quote in the vernacular of the townspeople. You didn’t just go to the lodge, only if you really had no other optionβ¦
Carlos: soβ¦this one goes to the lab, dear Miranda
Miranda: I want a girl⦠is that possible?
Carlos: the gardeners can arrange that for us, don’t worry
Miranda: is there enough material in the tube now as requested?
Carlos shook the test tube and looked affirmative
Miranda: take it to the lab… quickly, sweetheart!
The lab was behind the pig stables so you had to walk a bit to get to it. Carlos put on his boots and walked the stretch between the flower fields and the corn. He looked behind him and saw the sign referring to the name of their inn section : Anome Sinned, the letters had faded considerably over time and he noticed that they needed a new lick of paint. But that was for later. He hoped he had collected enough fluid for the experiment. When they arrived at the lab, the gardeners were busy dissecting a body. A previous resident of another inn who had passed away. His corpse had been shaved and smeared with honey. For the presentation for the analysis, he heard from the gardeners. Some limbs were then put in strong water in a display case for the exhibition. In the meantime, they received the tube. Lord Marco had the overview and knew that the new residents did not ask so many questions and quickly adapted to the rules of the inn. They wanted shelter and did not interfere with what the gardeners did.
Lord Marco: Do ββyou have a preference for a certain gender type?
Carlos: Female… if possible
Lord Marco: We can arrange that
The contents of the tube were emptied into a large saucepan. The other gardeners joined in and cast a spell. A magical scene followed. Carlos wasn’t allowed to get too close. one of the gardeners stirred the mixture in the pan with a soup spoon and tasted it a bit. It was just the right taste!
an applause followed and the lid went on the pan that was gently simmering. After a while, a little of the mixture was poured into a jerry can.
Lord Marco: drink a little of this every day for a week, only after it has cooled down
Carlos: drink it?
Lord Marco: yes, both you and your wive and then the child will develop and eventually become a very beautiful adorable girl
Carlos: eh, thank you very much Lord Marco!
Lord Marco: will you come and celebrate in the pub tonight, there are some fun performances planned in honor of the celebration
Carlos: I’m honored, I’ll be there!
When he returned with the jerry can, Carlos crawled into Miranda’s bed of straw. They saw from their window how some of the dissected corpses were thrown outside on the field and served as food for the pigs. They enjoyed watching the corpse being torn apart and eaten. Every evening someone died on the farm from one of the logdes throughout the farm. Based on the corpses they could know exactly which lodge was now free and where there was room for a number of newcomers.
Miranda: what if no one dies on the farm, where do they get the bodies from?
Carlos: They steal them from the city’s hospital mortuary or they run over refugees and immigrants standing along the highway.
Miranda: how original!
Carlos: yes, well, the gardeners are very resourceful and creative, And o I am invited to the pub tonight
Miranda: I’ll stay here, You drink too much there
Carlos: it’ll be fine dear, it’s all part of it, just participate, remember, we live here for free and we’re still alive
Miranda: yes, that’s true
The next morning the briefing was given to everyone from the farm, which took place in a large room where you could also read books. Every inhabitant from the lodges were present The briefing was mandatory. If you could not make your name heard when it was called, you had to leave the farm or else you would be killed. A simple choice that was clear to everyone. There were times when someone was late, then there was another punishment and that was walking naked on the farm all day. That was terrible and everyone preferred to arrive on time. The rules of the gardeners were disciplined and strict.
Through a back room you came to a courtyard that turned into a large field. The large garden, an immense area with bulbous plants, colourful flowers and amazing trees, where fruit and vegetables were provided every day. Potatoes, endive, radish, carrots and exotic fruits. The apple trees and pear trees together with the orange trees and lemon trees were also neatly maintained by the gardeners.
Fish were caught in the canals that flowed through the gardens and for meat the cows and pigs and chickens were sacrificed. Strangely enough, there were no sheep or goats. That was forbidden on this farm.
Because of the milk , the gardeners couldn’t cope very well. They get sick of it. Diseases of the city it was called by the gardeners. Carlos didn’t really care, at least he had shelter, food and water. Miranda thought the same way as Carlos. After all, she was pretty much done with the townsfolk. Here on the farm it was real life. And they were no strangers to pork. In Mexico before they fled the country it was on the menu almost every day. While Carlos filled his basket with food and drinks for the day, he walked to the covered tent further in the large garden. Crops were also grown here.
Plants and herbs with a medicinal effect. Against restlessness, or to sleep well. Lord Herby was the designated gardener here. On request you would sometimes receive a plant for tea or to smoke. Carlos took a big bunch with him and went back to his lodge..
Miranda: What name should we give her?
Carlos: who?
Miranda: our baby of course, is the tea already working yet or something?
Carlos: new cultivation from the large garden, sorry my thoughts were elsewhere for a moment, what did you say again?
Miranda: our baby, what do we call her?
Carlos: I was thinking of a Dutch name that could also be Latin
Miranda: it is a gift we have received, will you take that into consideration?
Carlos: I think we should thank our lord for that
Miranda: I want to give her a bibical name
Every lodge on the farm had a Bible as standard. This was mandatory reading because on Sunday they sang in church and people gathered. Miranda had been reading since she got here. There was no TV or radio on the farm. That was also forbidden. Newspapers and other influences from the city were banned. The Bible was the only thing one was allowed to read for relaxation.
Carlos: puta madre! I know!
Miranda: what then?
Carlos: I know what we will name our daughter
Miranda: and??
Carlos: We’ll call her…
Miranda: Amen! that fits exactly
Carlos: that means ”gift from God”
Miranda: what a good idea from you Carlos, you are so original!
Miranda: our daughter will take over this farm later,believe me it will happen one day..
Carlos: don’t say it out loud, the gardeners won’t like it
Miranda: well nobody knows yet
The wind was blowing hard outside and the clouds were getting darker. Carlos and Miranda peeked out from their window. A fancy scarecrow was set up as a defense against the cocky behavior of the crows. It was the corpse of the previous resident who asked too many questions and was then murdered, dissected and then placed near the corn.
It had an effect because the birds stayed away. And none of the residents even thought of entering the field at night.
Miranda: there’s something about that scarecrow
Carlos: Too bad he couldn’t keep his mouth shut then
Miranda: oh yes, one man’s death is another man’s bread
Carlos: Very good, conjo!
Mianda: I can already feel the baby growing a little bit in my belly, just look and feel
Carlos placed his hands on her stomach and a tear fell from his cheeks. This is what he had always dreamed of, to become a father. As night fell and they lay asleep on their straw bed, the sounds became audible from beneath the farmhouse. Miranda snuggled close to Carlos and held him tight. Even though they knew it would go away after a while, it was something that made Miranda curious. “Not our problem”, Carlos whispered softly to her and stroked her sweat-wet hair from her face. He gave her a kiss. Together they dreamt about Amanda..
Normally I get sick in these winter months. But not this time… The movement in my bodyflow from last summer was still there. I chose the local restaurant to work. But didn’t really like it much. The work itself was okay but doing catering in winter is not that lucrative. Wanted to do it purely temporarily, but that wasn’t in line with what the manager had in mind. And a strangling contract I wasn’t waiting for that. Flexibility in my schedule is intensely important to me. Especially now that I’m starting to get more of a feel for the film business….By the way, it was a pretty chill job otherwise. It was a nice thing to be part of the Chinese culture. Fantastic colleagues.But I found that too much emphasis was placed on certain aspects from managment. Things I just already knew and didn’t find challenging to do.Besides, I missed the sun. Daylight. I felt more like a vampire at this time and preferred to sleep out all winter…until spring would come again…I decided to spend a few nights at Eleanor’s villa on the beach….
Eleanor: In winter you shouldn’t work. You should go on vacation. Look for warm places. Otherwise you stop every time. You’re not a dark times person anymore, you follow the light….
Me: I understand you completely, but yes I want to keep busy
Eleanor: you have to do that then in the light.
Just watch…
She took me to her Jacuzzi. The technician who helped her had installed lights here and totally lit up the bathroom..there was a dial that made the lights flash just like a Christmas light. And completely A.I. controlled by her voice. On command it turned sky blue. I slid into the swirling mass of foaming water. Pleasantly warm. Very pleasant and rested my head and looked at the ceiling which was painted with luminous stars. That wasn’t there last time.
Eleanor joined me. Her light brown complexion from the summer sun had given way to a white pallor. She placed her pale feet on the edge of the jacuzzi, folded over each other. She asked for two glasses of Beaujolais. Who was she talking to I wondered? From a hatch on the wall appeared a wooden bottle holder with a bottle of BeaujolaisΒ
Me: wow, it just listens to your voice!
Eleanor: It’s robot controlled only it doesn’t quite work yet, the glasses didn’t come with it so we drink from the bottle then.
She moved the bottle up and down and screwed off the cap. “Taste it,” she said. It tasted exquisite. Good year. The sugars had converted well. The tanine hit you right away. After a while we were quite tipsy and sang Christmas songs. Eleanor really knew a lot of them. Logical she was a lot older than me so she had quite a lot of life experience and a bit more music knowledge. The warmth of the water in the Jacuzzi kept us drunk. Super nice feeling.Β Then she took the floor and then said “, blend colors”. A light-fest of colors appeared throughout the bathroom. Gosh the mechanic had really done his best by the looks of it. The colors adjusted to the time of night. It looked like we were in the sea with sky blue sky. The artificial sound of a steamboat and flying holograms of seagulls made the whole thing ultra realistic.
The wine, of course, provided a bit more depth. The sensation feeling was fine tuned.Β
We continued to float blissfully in her Jacuzzi. We secretly touched each other….under water.Β
Nice to be with Eleanor again. I told her I would return to the beach in the spring. She would eagerly wait for me… even if it took foreverΒ
————————————————————————-
Present Times Eden Mansion
Tomboy: how are the film assignments going?
Me: almost a year of acting/acting and super happy with it
Tomboy: only a year and so many productions already?Β This can trigger jealousy you know that
Me: I do not care about that
Tomboy: Well, you should.
Me: what for?
Tomboy: diva behavior? Star allures?
Me: who me?
Tomboy: just kidding, because you have an art background your expressiveness will always be misinterpreted by jealous people, remember that Danny. Your expressiveness is spot on by the way. What others think of it you should disregard. Your path is not someone else’s path.
Me: I don’t actually care what anyone thinks . As a cosmic pantheist, I’m immune to that.
Tomboy: explain..
Me: You have permission to adore me Satire isn’t for everyone either….
Tomboy: so now that you’ve also taken acting classes you’re continuing in the business?
Me: yes indeed! I notice it on certain productions where directors are already seeing that while I’m just an extra. And I think they realize that I want to go further than just acting.
Tomboy: facial expressions, body language, then text roles, I notice that you are trained in them.
Me: this is because I used to model for visual arts and sometimes still do. The threshold I had to set then can be an advantage in other forms of art, like acting.
Tomboy: You are not only movie special, also writer, painter, model for arts , and almost full-fledged actor.
Me: …and also performance art and doing theater stage plays occasionally
Doesn’t mean so much yo. Its just my expression of art. People do ask about it sometimes very ostentatiously I notice.Β
Tomboy: don’t tell anything, show your performance on stage, films and series.Β And fuck what they thinking of..
Me: Hell Yeah!
Tomboy: You will meet good people in this profession who really stimulate you to unprecedented heights, and also people who look at you with disgust. You have to understand that.
Me: someone with a conservative primitive mindset always has troubles with my expressive abilities. Whether as an extra or as a model or as an actor. A normal person who is on the same wavelength as me understands me completely. So I’m used to that by now. Besides, it’s immediately noticeable when someone like that is suddenly present on a film set who doesn’t really belong….
Tomboy: follow auditions and follow your own path and throw your greatest strength into battle
Me: and that is?
Tomboy: You can get along with e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e and everybody. And you have a modern mindset. People with a primitive mindset can’t stand that.
Me: seriously I really don’t concern myself with that, I’m not responsible for anyone’s opinion. I respect your opinion but your opinion is not my opinion….
Tomboy: opinions are disposable…
Me: anyway… i’m really looking forward to the new productions and assignments
Tomboy: you are on the verge of a time where you are going to get quite a lot of assignments and not the least also since you already have acting experience. Besides, an acting education is not even necessary because you can already act.
Me: I hear that more often than not. Still, I want to gain additional experience…thanks in part to the film people I work with, this will come. I am sincerely grateful to them for that. It gives a huge boost. Most extras you build something with as well. Nice people who motivate you and vice versa.
Tomboy: The strides you are making are going fast and hard, too bad if someone can’t keep up….
Can I be a little fan of you?
Me: I’d rather you be a fan of my qualities instead of me then. π
That’s how I see it with my cinematography heroes. Their celebrity status doesn’t interest me. It’s the acting qualities what I adore. The way someone puts a certain spin on a character or gives a performance. I can enjoy that immensely.
Tomboy: Suppose I also want to act in film, which casting agency should I go to in The Netherlands ? What are the best ones according to your expierences?
Me: All have their qualities you know, but the best experiences until now are Casting4 and Dynamic Casting in particular and B&F also in a way. Those three have meant the most to me so far. Getting to asked for the best films and series. Everything goes well through this casting agencies. Beyond perfection.Β Got many roles from them. And very professional. From briefing to catering to payment. These are really the three best so far. Respect!!!
Tomboy: do you ever do roles without a casting agency?
Me: yes, but it’s important to coordinate well regarding payments etc. Because that can sometimes go wrong.
Tomboy: So that means a delay in payment, you mean?
Me: Yes, and that doesn’t really give you an impuls to go back to an individual casting. I think you understand that too, don’t you? I’d rather have cash on the set from now on with individuals.Β
Tomboy: maybe you’ll get interest π
Me: whatever Tomboy (…. sigh…)
November 2023 ScheveningenΒ
Deepak and I were deeply impressed by Chandramukhi’s dancing skills. Like a wild goose, she shook her hips to the Bollywood classics from her own curated compilation. We clapped our hands together. What moves!Β
Deepak: Check out this girl!
Me: Whoa!
Chandramukhi was having a blast. She was a bit over the moon because she had also met Rosamund. And it was an instant hit. But for kundalini yoga, she had to wait a little longer. After all, Chandramukhi was “poisoned” by love and couldn’t clear her mind enough, because she was in love with Rosamund Deepak did understand it takes a certain conscious level to do this. “Your thoughts and head must be completely empty,” I added. “Totally agree , said Deepak” Everything I said Deepak also agreed by the way.
Chandramukhi: tss are you in love with Danny or something Deepak?
Deepak: maybe ..a little bit
Did he mean this ironically or did he mean it? I didn’t think anything bad about it. I think he wanted to do me. Honestly? He was the right age. Young curious and cute face. Big hands but very hairy. Ughh turnoff!!! I don’t like hairy. It has to be smooth.
Yet he had something feminine. Totally not macho tight cheekbones, eyes deep in the sockets. And full lips. Hmmm to kiss right away. Chandramukhi saw the way I looked at him. She recognized that look from thousands. The look that spoke volumes. The sociopathic staring look. That typical in me when I look at someone and like them. Bizarre, how do women always recognize this in me anyway?
Chandramukhi: Watch out Deepak, Danny is just undressing you with his eyes
Deepak: so what…why do you bother?Β
Chandramukhi understood and left us alone. She was sweaty and tired from dancing and went to freshen up. “Get him in the mouth” she whispered in my ear. “Shhht, go away Chan,” I snapped at her. “Do you like beer?” asked Deepak to me with his sweet baby face. “Yes of course!” Deepak smelled like coconut oil. Sat in his beautiful hair. When we opened the bottles he looked at me.
Deepak: I want to tell you something….
Me: yes tell me
Deepak: I want you…
When someone says this to me I don’t know what to say because I perceive this as a compliment. I then said:
Me : I want you too
Deepak: right now?
Me: right here..
From the bathroom, Chandramukhi shouted to put a sheet on her couch. She exaggerated. We just wanted to kiss for a while. But actually a little more. I spontaneously got an erection. Because of the vibe but also because Chandramukhi as it were guided us in what was to come soon….
That was immensely horny. Deepak’s eyes sank even deeper and he opened his mouth. He put his head down. And just then the doorbell rang
Me: fuck!
It scared the shit out of us. No worries. Chandramukhi had ordered roti again. The Hindu delivery man looked at us as if he saw a bunch of ghosts. Quickly he made his way out and Chandramukhi closed the door. She looked at both of us and put the food on the table.
Chandramukhi : for later ..first you two play….
Me : what the fuck?
Deepak : wow?
Forcibly Deepak had to play with my erection. And that while Chandramukhi was watching. This was incredibly powerful. Just think about it: I don’t even like Hindus. But now for a moment I did. Deepak had that typical slut look when he got close to my erection. He played and massaged me. Chandramukhi pretended she was busy setting the table. But secretly enjoyed it too. So was I. I undid his pants. Nice looking penis. Fantastic exactly like me. The surprise effect would soon come about. And incredibly his phallus was erect huge. A solid massive tower. It was a little fidgeting together under the watchful eye of Chandramukhi. She wanted me to take a shower with him. And then she wanted to watch. Totally fine. We gave her what she wanted. She enjoyed it. So did we. Really a nice guy was Deepak.Β
The three of us then philosophized about life and issues that concerned us.
Chandramukhi: we are in the Kaliyug
Deepak: end of times….
Me: all’s well that ends well
The kali yug freely translated is the age of Kali. The destructive part in the time era. The manifestation of total destruction. Kali was the dark destructive force of goddess Parvati. The companion of Shiva. That said enough…According to legend, she was called by the people to kill the local demon. But she could not do that in her normal form as Parvati, she then became Kali. The goddess of death and destruction. In that form she killed the demon but she continued in her urge to kill. She left a trail of destruction. One area after another was massacred and destroyed. There was no stopping her. And really nothing could stop her. No demon no god , nothing.
Kali was unstoppable. So badly broken in her urge to kill that only Shiva could stop her. Yet Shiva thought of something. He knew better than anyone how to calm his wife down.Β
He smeared himself with the burned ashes of the victims Kali had left behind. And lay down dead among the corpses. When Kali stepped on him she was shocked. For this was her husband! This was enough for her. She could no longer do so much harm. She then assumed her original form again and became the sweet Parvati again.Β From the dark demonic spirit to the light godly entity
Her energy merged with that of Shiva. The Shakti which ruled then had come into balance. The sweet part was for Parvati. The destructive part remained with Shiva.
We listen in swoon to the free translation Chandramukhi told us. The symbolism behind it is the total overpowering of life. And its acceptance in the end.Β
Deepak: tantra…
I nodded along as well. It was actually much deeper but this was broadly what it was about.Β
Me: Chandamukhi, can you tell us about the KamaSutra?
September 2023 Eden Mansion
Rosamund had now rolled up her yoga mat and I assigned her room. She would only be staying with us for a few days.Β
She was not very surprised to see the naked people walking in the building. She did, however, sneak a peek . She was used to it. But didn’t really expect it so to speak.
Me: do you feel uncomfortable ?
Rosamund: no worries getting used to it but is fine
Me: I noticed she was upset about something.
I figured it out she didn’t have a companion. She had always stayed alone. She did have a salamander in England but you couldn’t go to dinner with that. I told her I did know someone. That, of course, was Chandramukhi. They could become friends.I would like to see them together..
She jumped up from her bed and I showed her a picture. She immediately fell in love. “Shall I bring you together? “I asked her. Rosamund agreed. In appreciation, she gave me a lecture on awareness through yoga. It didn’t even matter which form of yoga you did. The unification with your body and the serenity you experience is already unprecedented. Meanwhile, she was making her bed. And asked if she could place candles and incense in the room. “No problem at all” I told her. What I wondered was why she was called Rosamund when she was half-blood.
Me : don’t you have a Hindu name like most Hindus do
Rosamund : you may also call me RoshniΒ
I looked at her and gave her a smile. Roshni means : the one who brings the light. Indeed that name does suit her. As I walked down the aisle of Eden Mansion I messagedΒ Chandramukhi. She was into it. Having a half-breed is always nice she knew from experience. In between I got an email I saw from Phoebe. I had not seen her for a long time. It would be time…soon.
September 2023 Scheveningen
Disco was the theme this time for the beach club’s final party. The preparations were in full swing, but not yet because in the meantime the bell was ringing at the hatch…not once, twice but 10 at a time. It was an emergency!
Chef : Kom op dan! Lopuhh!
Bartender: zo doe es ff rustig yo, we komen eraan!!!
From all corners employees appeared at the hatch. Both of the handymen, the two bartenders, even the gentleman from the sink was off his mark. And I too took a sprint and rushed to the hatch…arriving there, there was only 1 plate of fries with croquettes….
Handy1: Jesus wat een drama
Handy2 : huh, waar is de rest?
Chef: ja he he, die zijn natuurlijk al weggebracht troetelmuts, breng je deze ook ff weg lieverd, als-je-blieft?!
At the same time the sous chef asked where his coffee was. For the third time by the way. I became para and turned to the bartender and shouted:
“two coffees please!!! now!!!!”
And promptly two coffees were ready….
Sous chef: who is the bestπ
The sous chef struck a pose and did a Namaste greeting. Every time amazing how he did this. Peace had returned and it was a quiet moment for a moment. I grabbed my cloth and took a couple of trays. And then refilled the napkins. The sauces were still fairly full. And the patio was pretty much neat as well. The manager came up to me and I was allowed to go home. My shift was over. As usual, I then took a seat at the bar and enjoyed my glass of bon vivant. The tastiest beer there is. I asked the bartender what was planned for the final party. Only thing she could say was that pretty much everyone would be coming. That’s all I could get out of her. Meanwhile, there was an upbeat music fest going on in the kitchen. I took one look and got sucked into the vibe. Incredibly pleasant moments. Moments that will soon be gone. At least for this season….
September 2023 Eden Mansion
The new yoga teacher had arrived. A half-breed. Half British half Indian. Rosamund was her name. An extraordinary lady. And with quite a lot of knowledge. She had lived for years in India among the yogis and had mastered the basic principles of yoga. I was completely in a trance when she told me about Kundalini yoga. That is the most dangerous form of yoga. True, you need the first three chakras to activate it. But the power development after that takes place…out there. i asked her what happens when you activate all the chakras. Body expansion, clairvoyance, seeing with your extrasensory senses. Being able to feel sound. Being able to see energy. Experiencing light as photons. The true nature of the cosmos as it really is. The Adiyoga the connection with Shiva. The true manifestation of power.
An unprecedented form of yoga by the way that cannot be done without some guidance. A guru is necessary here. So Rosamund was the guru to tell us about this. She was curious to know who wanted to join in. Everyone had left the room…except me
We started with a mantra and as if by some miracle I begin to feel it. Wow this was totally different kind of yoga. The combination of the mantra with the configuration of your body poses brought the chakras into a position that made them open more easily. And then suddenly something from down came up through my intestines and flew through my body above my head, i couldnt describe this energy boost. It was far beyond my comprehension..
October 2023 Scheveningen
It was quite windy at the Pier of Scheveningen. Bella and me were walking and looking at the scenery of the end of this season. he force of the autumn wind almost blew her from the Pier. She held me tightly as we ate an ice cream….
Bella: do you like working in the bakery?
Danny: mwuaa, not really don’t think I stay there long. Ill keep it temporary
Bella: how about that then?
Danny: boring. And the cash register is too complicated. Everything is mixed up. It takes time to get through that. I don’t get that much time from the bakery. So just staying here for a while
Bella: doing really early morning shifts in the fall, I’m not looking forward to that myself.
Danny: not only that. I miss the thrill of beach life. The guests at a bakery are different from, say, the beach club where I worked. Customers at a bakery are mainly elderly not that i am against old people but the vibe then becomes rather corny. It is a different vibe
Bella: But you do lock up well, right?
I’ll do that anyway I told her, I think I’ll break the contract and then hand in my clothes and head for my next adventure…Maybe back to Scheveningen….
September 2023 Scheveningen
It was a crazy disco party organized by the beach club. For now, the staff was put in the spotlight. Full house and almost all staff were present. I had an outfit that was disco chiq. Neat jacket but still fancy. Nice creations passed by. Glitter, wigs, suits. The 70’s style. The club was also well designed according to the theme. There was a place reserved for the DJ who would arrive later. And on the terrace a place with delicious food and drinks. You could go to the bar yourself for beer and wine. And there was a photo booth. A collegue and me immediately took a photo together. One of my favorite collegue to work with by the way. All in fact. Also other collegues tried out the photobooth
Various props were there so that we could have our picture taken together. It was fantastic. It’s special to be the guest yourself for once. A nice briefing followed from the best handyman of the club, followed by the assistant. A quiz with fun questions. And then I found out that the boss is younger than the mistress and has gone to art school. What a hero! Hence the click. A group photo with all of us. And then the party started. We did naughty things on the beach and then again had a rap battle. The DJ was now in a higher mood and played fun disco classics alternated with contemporary beats. In between we went rowing, played beer pong, drank more and danced. With everyone. What a love.
The chef and sous chef wanted to take a picture with me in the photo booth. I got a kiss from both of them when the photo was shot.Sandwiched by kisses from these two loco people haha. Beautiful nice people that I will never forget. Then dance again. And drinking again and partying on the beats of the DJ Everyone participated. The boss, the boss” wife, the kitchen staff, the terrace employees, the runners. The chef took me aside and then said:
“making memories”
That…was so true
The best time of my life. The beginning of a new era had begun here for me. All credits to this fantastic beach club at the harbor next to the surf club. Grown enormously in all aspects. Received so much direction and a baggage full of immense possibilities. Thank you dear people for this wonderful time at this beach club it was amazing!
Forever grateful β€οΈ
September 2023 Eden Mansion
Rosamund reassured me as I activated my chakras. I felt an enormous serene calmness that I could transfer. The real energy is not in matter, Rosamund said. This energy comes from the dark matter. The real power. This was the craziest form of yoga. This was not what I got in regular yoga classes. This was different.
This is a well-known phenomenon in Vedic science. So it is quite normal for yogis who practice this. But a Westerner can experience this shockingly. The deepest of the deepest. Our senses have limits in the material world. As a result, we only see a fraction of the light spectrum. But not during this form of yoga…
You see everything. And that is really true. However, the most dangerous part is returning to the material body. So that process received support from Rosamund. She was great at this. It is bizarre to feel how you come back to earth. I tripped over my yoga mat and fell forward. Rosamund said it’s quite normal because I’m returning back into my psycical body from my astral body. I realized that i truely wen out of my physical boundaries of matter. I thanked her for this experience.
For the first time I experienced what it was like to pass through dimensions without any substance. It was like being stoned or drunk. But without weed and alcohol. This was purely natural. That’s how it could be done, I thought. Kundalini yoga is also a topic that many scientists are concerned with. It really happens and these vedic principles of this form of yoga was widely practiced by people from all walks of life. The tea I got afterwards felt like I was drinking tea for the first time. My esophagus had to get used to this again. I was curious about Rosamund and asked if she had a boyfriend. She did have a relationship, but with a woman. She had never had a relationship with a man before. It didn’t really bother me that much either. Non relevant. She asked if I was in a relationship. Well… occasionally, but not binding. There are so many fruits on the tree, she said with a smile, so somehow she could understand it. I not only like the fruits, I said, but also the leaves, the branches and sometimes pieces of the bark, and sometimes also the root of the tree. Aha, she said, you are pansexual.
The first person I didn’t tell myself about my sexuality…but came up with it myself…and it was completely fine. I looked deep into her eyes. Spiritual scientific vedic. Rosamund was a special girl…
November 2023 Scheveningen
Brrr, it was fucking cold. Winter had arrived early and it showed. The whole vibe I normally had in mind was completely smashed on the harbour. After helping my customers with a herring sandwich, tasty pastry and, above all, lots of fries, I walked to the tram. A familiar face. Chandramukhi! What is she doing here?
Chandramukhi: I was curious how you were doing, you’re so hard to reach man, gosh!
Me: oh yes that is to save data for my phone. Airplane mode means your battery won’t drain as quickly
Chandramukhi: I understood that you had done Kundalini Yoga, how was it?
Me: eye-opener
Chandramukhi: Shiva’s yoga is the most dangerous form you can do.
Me: no worries, I received the right coaching.
Chandramukhi: Would you like to watch Bollywood movies with me?
Me: of course
I went to her house and first ate a roti with potato/long beans and vegan snacks. Chandramukhi put on a movie and one song after another was sung.In Bollywood films it is common that it is not the actor or actress themselves who sing a song when there is a dance scene….
Chandramukhi: Did you know that Bollywood movies has an greater audience then Hollywood movies?
Me: i know that. But Hollywood productions cost more and earn more π
Chandramukhi: And did you know that Asha Bhosle has sung the most songs ever?
Me: Not Kishore Kumar?
Chandramukhi: no, he was the most popular. The all-rounder. Every actor wanted him as a playback singer.
Me: No wonder he still has won the most filmfare awards as best singer to date
Chandramukhi: In fact, he was nominated in the best playback singer category with only his songs.
Me: That’s right, I know, it wasn’t even a question that he was going to win. But with which number
Chandramukhi: he was super eccentric and quite a weirdo
Me: He was quite crazy but a genius.
Chandramukhi: he was the best, he was also converted to all possible religions and then not again. in fact, he was actually an atheist. But he loved Christian movies.
Me: there was something mystical about him
Chandramukhi: special person. I recently met someone from Hindi classes and I would like to introduce you to him. He is very interested in you
Me: oh really? A Sugar Daddy?
Chandramukhi: Call it a Sugar cousin
A little later after Chandramukhi had texted Sugar’s nephew, the doorbell rang. A light-skinned young man stood in the doorway. At least not really a boy. I think it’s non-binary. Because there was something feminine about him. It did appeal to me. A little younger than me. Still pristine and innocent. Chandramukhi matched me well and introduced me to him
Me: hi nice to meet you…Deepak
Present Times Eden Mansion
Tomboy: so if I understand correctly, you will be going abroad soon.
Me: yes, first work on the beach for a few months and then work and live there. Not alone, of course, but with like-minded folks, and I can also do my hobbies over there
Tomboy: that’s really great, because then you also have international experience, with your film assignments and art as well.
Me: for that reason and in between you can take leave and then I will be back in the Netherlands for a few days for the premiere of films or for family, but mainly I will first take a holiday here and there and not go all out here.
Tomboy: that’s good, you shouldn’t work in the winter anyway, but just take a holiday and actually also in between, you’ve worked too much lately and you can now take some rest. Work an average of 2 to 3 days. Because otherwise you will get overload. And focus on film and art assignments, that is your destination and your talent will be better reflected there. And take holidays once in a while.
Me: I enjoy working in the catering industry, but to be honest. Soon enough i will be endorsed into the film industry. But this combo is not bad at all for the moment
Tomboy: I notice you’re being offered more roles. So I have every reason to be a fan of yours.
Tomboy knew exactly what my destiny is and where I will continue it. And with this range of options, I have almost infinite options to do.
We experienced some very mean and crazy things together when we were younger. We were the manifestation of madness. And we were having fun. Young and loose. And incredibly wild. Angel and I were so popular that we kept track of our scores and compared them with each other. Sometimes it got mixed up. Our diversity and adaptability gave us overlapping relationships. We got our jobs by classical methods or recruitment. Unfortunately i didnt like the boss daughter. So Angel took over and in stead slept with her. I was more into Joshua. Spanish employer with nice odeur and beautiful ass. Three times i had great sex with Joshua. We licked and sucked like turtles. Then i broke up with Joshua and went to Babette. Joshua was then with Angel. But didnt went well. So we fixed Joshua to Albert. African guy from the roulette. Jackpot! They got married and left the casino. After then we had love with everyone. It was then when our lusts were discovered.From young to old. And especially the rich ones. They have the greatest breakfast. It was a fuckable time during the times in the casino
And now a few decades later we met in the library….
Angel wondered if i am still in the catering and events industry? Back again after a trip of a few years, yes. For now, right? Not all the time. She hinted me to go more into the talent fields. She’s always thought highly of me. Angel was terribly beautiful but also terribly intelligent. Or did her intelligence make her so beautiful? Did I see things in her that others don’t?Β Β Nowadays she worked as a veterinarian and her relationships were all on the rocks. Angel had a fear of commitment. And an alcohol problem. No toothpaste but Vieux-Cola to start the morning. Angel had always loved alcohol. Sometimes she brought bottles of ethanol from the lab because the liquor store was already closed. Laziness, she said dryly. It didn’t bother me any further. Despite her sociability, Angel had always been a bit distant. Apart from her regular job, she kept herself aloof from any commitment. It brought her more pain than pleasure. She was not surprised when I told her that I am also single.
Your species is always single… She was referring to my zodiac sign. It doesn’t matter how fucked up you look, she said. According to her, I don’t have to commit because I will get anyway what I want in the end. It is the attraction. That is something. Angel had the same problem. Super attractive yet alone. Like it’s a curse. No pain no gain. Just be happy if you’re ugly. At least then you can be happy. Nobody keeps looking at you. Or considering you as an idol. You have no attention. Nobody gives a shit about you. Fuck you! You can rather be ugly then attractive...
What we also had in agreement was not being able to choose. Although……… not necessarily among the options. But its possibilities. The inexhaustible source of information. What are you going to do with it? For what purpose? Why? The choices are endless…Something I could talk to Angel about was the most intimate and most awkward things. That was only possible with her. She said she was taking more things home from the lab. Such as gauze and morphine. She then wrapped her legs with gauze and took a dose of morphine. She asked me what I thought about it. I found the somnophilia traits that Angel had quite exciting, I told you honestly. Creating a situation in which you try to stimulate yourself without control. But to what extent are you completely powerless if you still need to have control to stimulate yourself? Good question she said… That’s why you have to give someone else control to stimulate you…if you want to be completely powerless.
I understood the game. In real life that is wisdom, but in Angel’s room…not. She asked me if I had ever fantasized about having sex with disabled people. No not yet. The bridge to it is too far, so to speak. I don’t see the sexual side of it. Angel believes that disabled people also have the right to sex. Heavy discussion. What if they don’t want to? She said it was a joke…or was it? She was curious about me. She knew the beach club where I worked. Quite popular and well known. Nice crew and atmosphere. She was struck by how close the team was. True, every now and then colleagues hug each other. One love Here everyone is one. I was admirable in talking about my experiences on the beach. .Experienced a lot of things.Super busy days. Long days. Short days. Parties and birthdays. Anniversaries. Company celebrations. Organization events. The Volvo Ocean Race in June was already a real happening. But Allianz Sailing went even a step further. The area was even more extensive. Many familiar faces among both staff and guests. The friendly chefs and staff from outside. Many more troops were deployed for this event. It was non-stop refilling and dropping off of snacks and nibbles. The beer was tapped in the beer stall. Fish was served at the other unit. Italian wok snacks at the opening. Cocos Macarons and an extra outdoor bar. The club had organized it incredibly well again. You simply must have experienced this. A beach club that has a lot of knowledge of event organization Yet this was not all for what was actually to come… Live on the Beach. Angel looked at her phone and counted 10 days left. That’s right, it was almost time. The end of the season. A real stunner.
After that take a vacation, Angel suggested. I don’t know that yet, I said. I have no clue… A little later the librarian informed us of the closing time. When we left the library, Angel told us that she had planned a vacation soon. Would I like to have a bite to eat? At one of the beach clubs. I felt honored. Why her gesture? Didn’t she have other options? Perhaps much better? It means something if someone from the past insists on choosing you for a bite to eat. You could also choose someone else, right? Someone from your current era? But that’s exactly it. Nah…That is boring. Too familiar and therefore no longer interesting. But apparently with me. I went home in a cheerful mood. Wow… not just anyone. It’s Angel. The most popular in the casino at the time. There was already a bit of adoration between us then. Also to ourselves. But especially for each other. We were the heroes in extremes. She was full of drink. And I. And we didn’t give a shit. Because we had forgotten a lot. And lost. And years later we found it. We found what we lost…
A few days later we met at the pier. It was sweltering but i still dressed casually with a hint of gala. Angel then appeared. Green brown sandals. With open heel. A late 50’s dress. An elegant big hat. And a cool leather jacket. Not to make it look too sweet. She was beautiful. An angel. We shared a sea bass menu and ordered fries and a seafood cocktail of snacks. The waiter served the chauvignon blanc. And before I knew it, Angel had already ordered a second bottle. And yet she kept control over it. Her feet usually swell in her tight sandals when she drinks wine. She took off her sandals. Ultra slim feet. Catered. But not too exaggerated. Not the gel nails ornaments glamor foot. But the pure robust base, marked by time. Healthy strong feet. Beautiful and intelligent. Just like her. She wanted to get some fresh air down on the beach. Good idea. We left our shoes and sandals and walked downstairs. But then ….we saw that ice cream man. It’s the one that always has coconut ice cream. Infinite ice cream!Β Should we… I asked her? Yes of course! She understood the ice code. Please no ice cream cone but in the container. Because then you get relatively more ice because nothing melts away but remains in the container. Angel took a combo of pistachio, orange, melon, chocolate and coconut. I went for pistachio. chocolate, vanilla, malaga and coconut. We walked through the water along the shoreline with our tubs of ice cream. Angel wanted to show something later. Upstairs. Not just yet. Then what, I wondered? I parked that thought. We brought back memories of when we used to be at these places. And now we’re here again. We never expressed to each other that we had feelings for each other. Did we actually have that? I asked her. Smart move… she said because she is drunk… so she won’t lie. Unless she is aware of the provocation, she said right back. She played with my head. She was a doctor, don’t forget that.
She pulled herself towards me. She put my hands on her hips. Come…Danny let’s dance she said. Oh well, why not. When we were spinning around a bit, she stepped on my feet. As a raise…and gave me a quick kiss. Very fast. So fast it almost seemed accidental. But this was not by accident. Certainly not! When I wanted to kiss her back, she promptly pulled me upstairs. Her timing is touche. She disses me and procrastinates. Fine. We sat on the pier drinking the second bottle. This was quite doable with the fruit cocktail and the bitterballen. When she took the bottle away I saw a piece of gauze lying there as a coaster. Was this a hint? She took out her phone. The hotel with sauna and swimming pool. Price was temporarily reduced. She didn’t feel like taking the taxi home. Me neither, actually. We were able to split the costs. We were allowed to take the bottle of wine with us and Angel received a goodie bag from the restaurant. I a bow tie. Interesting. This is probably one of those theme nights or something. The person is tied to the girl…
Hintwise she had already wrapped the gauze around her arm. She has more and also some morphine. As described earlier, I could talk to Angel about everything. She was a weirdo at times. But above all sweet. She always wanted to do it. And she knew that that could only be done with me. Someone who is also on her level of insanity. A moment of joy and nothing else. Just for once. At the hotel I wrapped her leg. She stumbled into bed and the game could begin. My patient lay motionless in bed because of the morphine. She couldn’t do anything. She’s been lying like that all day. She must stink. I take a washcloth that I wet a little and wash the disabled Angel. I clean her. Slowly every molecule of her body needs to be cleansed. Purely medical. There is nothing else behind it. A hug and a tearful fit of laughter follows. I entertained Angel. She had figured out the moment when I was working with her feet. She liked it when she was washed under her armpits. between her buttocks when I turned her over. And the inside of her groin. Angel was so clean she smelled herbal.
During the entire game there was not a single moment of sex. This was a mind-level role play. Something we always wanted to do in the past but were too proud at the time. She now also wanted to take control. I was wrapped in gauze. Both legs were wrapped up, but also both arms and I could no longer walk. I placed myself on my side and fell onto the bed. Angel was completely absorbed in her role. Especially shaving my pubic hair was a memorable moment. Rubbing it with saffron oil even more so. The morphine really numbs, but not completely. Local parts that slowly light up again. It gives a tingling sensation. It’s really enjoyable. After the role play I looked at myself in the mirror. There is more schwung because the friction with the pubic hair disappears, she said when she saw me “helicoptering” in front of the room mirror. She was absolutely right. The rotation went almost non stop. Once it stopped she applauded.Β
A few days after Live on the Beach we met again at the hotel. Initially we wanted to go to Utrecht, but we chose the same hotel again. The view is beautiful and the breakfast is very hearty and good. Bodyscapes. She wanted someone to do that. It was not possible to make super zoom and close ups of parts of her wrapped body. I would help her for that. The August sun shone through the windows and gave a beautiful reflection on her body. I made true beauties from parts of her body. Beautiful how the rest of the body fades into the background. Her feet. I placed them slightly differently. Because of the light but also because of the tint on her feet. Milky white but a little tanned. Bronze. I then concluded the session with a video. I slid the camera around and started at her toe. And took a journey through her beautiful limbs. Got a little lost in her bush between her legs. But found her way back through her curves. It was a nice addition to her portfolio. Angel was very grateful to me. Because she has always been a doctor, she wanted to experience what it is like on the other side of the balance sheet. She begged for it.
But her weirdness was not understood. In vain. I was happy that I could understand her. Finally she did it. We tongued like we were young again. As if we are the Danny and Angel of the casino again. What we should have done then…we did now. It was spontaneous and sweet. Angel knew exactly how to handle my zodiac sign. She built it up. We slid together and sat on it and enjoyed this. She wanted me to eat her out. I wanted that too. Her fruit blossomed when my tongue landed. Passionately I slid along her mounds and descended deeper into her cave. I stayed there quite a long time. It was too beautiful to leave immediately. I got hard again and wanted to go in again. She moistened it first…..with her mouth. We looked at each other. The dominant doctor who is a patient. It was fine.
We then chatted for a long time. It seemed like we’ve known each other for years. Actually it is. Do friendships count even when there are breaks in contact? According to Angel, we’ve been friends since the moment we met. And because we keep in touch. That is very important. We can live on that. We have known each other for years and are good friends. I knew Angel was previously bisexual. Although she says she does not want to conform to a sexual orientation. She prefers not to label herself. Confuses people. I noticed that, I said. Pansexual people are more everything than fluid, she explained. Hence the confusion among your loved ones, she said. The majority of my fans don’t care what my sexual orientation is, I said. Most of the time you will get confusion from your family, Angel said. But that doesn’t bother me. If you become too concerned with what others are doing, you will join in their confusion.You will have various groups that want to stick to you and hop along with you in your work or life. In past times they used to go to houses to win souls. Nowadays these fools try other ways. I told Angel how certain family members and very former acquaintances devised specific methods to convert me. According to Angel, it is already absurd that such a person would, for example, work at a social organization to apply conversion therapy. Isn’t that immediately noticeable? Isn’t that already dubious? Even more absurd is that there has been no contact for years. no consultation hours, no appointments. nothing! it just keeps looking for ways to interfere. supposedly helping while putting the person in a bad light. Keeps influencing my envornment and real friends. There is no help needed. You need help yourself with your primitive mindset. Wake up we live in a modern world. Behave and adapt!
And that has finally become clear since I started working in the catering industry. you see things as they really are. No more brainwashing simulated talkative sessions. One ear in other out. Because it is immediately noticeable who is trying to implement this shortcut. But it doesn’t work. Everyone knows that this is not what i agree. And i gained massive support from certain areas. It is even so that certain things are simply disposable since then. Simply because it is.The trick is not to give too much meaning to certain things. Don’t explain. The good ones will always reach you.Reach beyond the matrix. And so you can see..
Angel enjoyed the stories from the beach that I experienced with my colleagues. The openess. The welcoming. The parties. After Live on the Beach we had drinks. All three days long. I showed my skills in the playground. Hanging upside down while you’ve just had a drink. The manager who just films it. Just too epic for words. So peaceful, all in a circle. One who takes and brings all drinks. And the boss himself bakes and serves snacks for the staff. I told Angel that he would prefer not to be called that. He feels more among the staff than above them. That attitude alone makes him the boss for us. This isn’t like working 12 hours and then cycling home. You are part of something. You are together. After a few drinks, colleagues went home one by one. Some stayed behind. We did a few rap disses on the sand in front of the beach club. That’s spontaneously coming up with a rap. Straight off the bat. That’s just like in movies, Angel noted. That’s called improvisation.Anyway, I managed to do a few rap disses. It is young people who are very good at those things. I felt like a king among these people. The pleasure in things. You really enjoy it. These are moments that are carved in your heart. You can think back to it every summer. Actually every moment. A discussion then followed about the difference between a rap and a poem. Both are poets in principle. Yet a rapper is more of a rapper than a poet. A rap usually has a faster tempo. You really have to take the time to read a poem. Or does a rap deliberately have a faster tempo so that you have to listen to the song over and over again to get the message. That is compensated by the rhythm and melody, I argued. That is not the case with a poem. There is no music. Angel again thinks that the number of rhyming words and syllables indicate a certain tone in a poem. That’s true. That creates music, but only the rhythm of it. You can fill in the melody yourself. With a rap there is already a fixed rhythm and melody where you have to interpret the song in a certain context. With a poem there are no frames… These profound moments were formidable with Angel.
Angel was extremely happy for me regarding my film roles. And the steps I am taking in this industry. I was also surprised when I received compliments from actors on sets. while I don’t have any acting lessons yet. Johnny Depp, Jennifer Lawrence, Jason Statham, Tom Cruise, Jim Carrey. None of them had any acting training. You may have a talent for certain things. And that’s why I want to go further in this. So from next year more acting lessons and really getting into it.
Β It’s something. I remember going to the cinema with Angel in 2001. We were already film fanatics and had seen every blockbuster several times. And that’s why we just watched films in the independent film house. Or homegrown films. So young and still so discovering, we watched the book adaptation by Ronald Giphart.
I was a huge fan of his books. And still am. Angel is a huge fan of the main characters in the film. Actually, they were my heroes too. Just like in the book. The characters described in the book were given shape through the excellent and heart-warming performances of the actors. It is something to experience with the actors in the film. And then years later you’re just on set…with one of your heroes from the movie. Those are the moments that make it beautifully fun. And somewhere your “heroes” know that you are a huge fan of him or her. That’s nice, Angel said, because then they get a lot more done from you. That’s right, I said. But you also get a lot in return. It’s a lot of sacrifice when you end up in this world. You sometimes receive a higher compensation for one production than another. But as time goes on you suddenly start making a profit. Not only in your wallet but also in the experience. It is a compliment for your talent. Production companies also check how much passion you really show for a role. Someone who travels half the country when he can turn it down is remembered. And rewarded. It has often happened that a special role suddenly comes along. Or that I suddenly receive a text. Sometimes roles are suddenly offered spontaneously. Apparently you are tipped by the actors, said Angel. Yes or by the production company or casting director.
That is a compliment and a huge incentive for me to continue. You should always follow your heart, Angel said. I will always support you and encourage you to continue doing this. And don’t forget your people from the past, Danny. You have a huge foundation to improve the world. Together with eachother. Give people a chance…who once gave you a chance. But keep your positions sacred. Let only the sameminded into your world. Ban homophobic people. Attract and surround yourself only with ones who you feel are on the same frequency. Everything and everyone can feel attracted to hook up with you. But you do live in a country where religion and state are separated. You live in a free country. Approval does not come naturally but mutually. Bizarre how Angel summarized it all. As if it is. As if she has secretly given me another incentive. It’s like Angel gave me hope… I took her words seriously and wholeheartedly and visualized the rest of my plans….
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